just look into my eyes, my heart

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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jameson could hear people screaming. the sound was almost deafening, and he wished he could have something to make the sound stop. he covered his ears as much as he could, but the noise kept pounding against his skull. it made him want to scream, too, and he let out a loud yell. he hadn't figured out what had made everyone so scared, but he had a feeling that he should be afraid of it to. at the moment, everything was black; darkness. his green eyes could see nothing, but then he saw a small red light in the distance. it slowly came towards him, and he reached out his arm to touch it. something made him have the need to feel it, to know what it was. all of a sudden, it engulfed everything and he was running through a hall of fire. there was no way out, and he could see no door. all he could see were flames, growing taller and taller and crackling in his ear so loudly he was sure that he was going to go deaf. then, every noise stopped. he could hear nothing. did he die? was he deaf? jamie then felt himself being flung through the air, and when he landed, it was soft. almost comforting. the feeling didn't last for long, because he saw his mother appear out of nowhere with a giant needle, her intentions quite clear. he didn't have a fear of needles, but he did have a fear of what was in it, something that he was beyong controlling now. he felt the hairs on his arms stand on end, and his mother threw the needle at him. time almost slowed down to a stop, and he could hear the air whistling past as the point came close to making contact with the boy's skin. could he escape it? no, probably not. but he would try. jamie rolled over, and felt himself falling. he kept falling and falling until he heard a crack and felt a sharp stinging sensation from the back of his skull.

his eyes fluttered open, and he realised in time that everything was just a dream. more of a nightmare, really. none of it was real. his heart was beating fast in his chest, and he could see the pulsating coming through his bare chest. his breathing was rather rapid, and he was pretty sure that his head was about to explode. he put a hand to the wound on his skull, and figured out that it was bleeding. he heard footsteps coming from the hall, and saw his mom coming through the door. jameson! what happened? at the sight of his mother, jamie's brain must've not been completely awake because he let out another yell and tried to stand up, only to be caught up in the blankets that had fallen off of his bed with him and he landed back on the floor again. his mother took one of his hands and pulled him up so he could sit up on his bed instead of on his floor, and jamie instantly felt dizzy. no need to yell, you're fine. a little concussed i think, but other than that, you're fine. sometimes it was good that his mother was a nurse, because it was like you had a live-in doctor. she had inspected the cut on jamie's scalp and ruled it non-life threatening, and he felt relieved, even though it wouldn't matter anyway because he had nothing to do for the next week or so.

torben's in the kitchen having lunch, and i have to leave for work in a bit. he said something about a masquerade ball or something and i really think you should go. kris' hand on jamie's back felt calming, but when she started talking about the ball, he glared at her. first, i'm not hungry. second, there is no way in hell i'm going to that thing. it's just a bunch of bullshit anyway. his mother laughed quietly and then shook her head. watch your mouth, son. another thing that jamie liked about his mom was that she didn't care what he said. she knew that he had strong opinions on things, and it had gotten to the point where she was sick of warning him about his language over and over. besides, he didn't have any younger siblings to role model for. and i really think that you should go to that dance, you might meet someone. she got up from his bed, making the mattress shift and jamie crossed his arms and kept his glare directed at his mom. she left his room and he kicked some of the blankets on the floor, obviously acting like a five-year-old. he didn't need to find someone. he had just blown his chances with zoe, that was pretty much his only fall-back. he was destined to go on a life alone, a journey of lonlieness, a- oh, wait. he had torben, right? wrong. he was moving next year, durr. maybe jamie could go with him. no, he didn't want to be a tag-along. jamie sighed loudly, and stood up, almost falling down again. he grabbed the side of his bed so he wouldn't make another head wound, caught his balance, and shuffled out of his room.

he plopped himself down in a chair in the kitchen, and put his head down on the table. he could hear light footsteps coming towards him, trying to be sneaky. obviously, this was not his mother. jamie raised his hand, put up his middle finger, and thought that that would be all until he felt a hand grasp his finger and pull him down, and being unaware of this, he lost his balance again and fell to the floor with a dull thud. halfway through the falling process, jamie reached out for torbens left, and pulled him down, too. his mother was in the living room, collecting her things for work, and came into the kitchen to see two grown boys pulling each other's hair and kicking at the other. boys! BOYS! she slammed her foot down on the floor, and that still was not enough to stop the two boys. jamie felt a hand grab his arm that was just about to punch his cousin in the stomach and pull him away from him instead. torben was laughing, and he sat up clutching his stomach which was hurting from obviously laughing so hard. jamie was not impressed, and he yelled a string of obscenities at him before struggling free of his mother's grip. you two, behave! what the hell is wrong with you? neither of the males answered, but instead torben continued laughing and jamie continued glaring and cursing. then, a small beep went off, and his mother hurried from the house, but not before saying goodbye to the both of them.

you're a fucking dick, you know that? jamie was definately not in a good mood. torben just nodded and went off to jamie's room, and jamie didn't care. he was hungry, and now his entire body hurt instead of just his head.

ten hours, eight fights, six counts of verbal abuse and four joints later, torben had a protesting jamie getting dressed in his 'best' clothes, which consisted of a straightjacket-replica jacket, the only pair of jeans he had without holes, and torben's shoes. he had convinced jamie to go to the ball, because honestly, what better thing was he going to do at home? nothing, that's what. and apparently if he was under torben-surveillance, he wouldn't do something stupid. but torben had WAY more friends than jamie and he'd probably go off with them. not ideal dancing conditions. and on that note, jamie didn't even dance. that was pretty much the main reason why he didn't want to go, that and the fact that it was pointless. it would be just like school, except there would be masks and loud music involved. and school=suckish. therefore, dance=suckish. it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. certainly not if jamie can guess it and get it right.

you ready to go? torben stood in the doorway of the apartment while jamie looked at his reflection in the microwave door. his hair was messy. styled, yes, but messy. he ran a hand through it and sighed. this was going to be horrible. his head didn't hurt as much anymore, though. that was a plus. looking down at his other hand, he saw the black mask that torben had been so nice to purchase for him. it fit his face perfectly, and managed to look like it was painted on. he would've liked it a lot better if he had approved of why he had it. jamie? are you with us? i think you might've smoked too much, bud. his attention snapped from the mask to his cousin, who had a white one similar to his, and nodded. the two walked down the stairs of the apartment complex and eventually got out to the parking lot. he saw torben reach into his pocket and unlock his car, but then jamie remembered that torben didn't have his license yet.

hey, you can't drive. you don't have a license. jamie crossed his arms and raised a hidden eyebrow, wary of who he was going to get into a vehicle with. so? jamie, you're higher than a fucking kite. you're not driving unless you can walk down this line- he pointed to a line on the pavement -and come back. but you have to walk right on it, or i'm driving. jamie narrowed his eyes at his younger cousin and shrugged. okay, then. prepare to be amazed. he turned towards the line, and stepped on it with his left foot. then, trying to keep a normal pace, he put right infront of left and continued on his way down the parking lot. when he turned around, he wobbled a bit, but then he came back. he got a glare from torben, who obviously wanted to drive. donner les clefs et nous irons. ooh, french. how sophisticated. ... why are you speaking in french? i don't get it. jamie shrugged and smiled. give me the keys, roger. torben frowned at jamie, turned around to start walking towards the car and threw the keys back at his cousin. my name isn't even roger. jamie stretched out his arms to catch the keys, but missed by a longshot. hoping the torben wouldn't hear, he scrambled to get them before torben turned around.

so, fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the hotel. not really a place where you would expect jamie to be at, but he was being forced here against his own will. well, maybe he did want to be here. a little bit. but not a whole lot, like these other people obviously did. he saw girls and guys rushing into the building, trying not to break their heels or mess up their hair. it was quite obvious that people knew who everyone was. it wasn't going to be difficult to discover who jamie was. torben told him to put on his mask, and jamie looked at it. maybe he should just go home. torben snatched the mask out of jamie's hands and put it over jamie's face, making the edges of his sight black and blurry. he put the little elastic thing underneath some of his hair, so it wouldn't look extremely obvious, and he was good to go. aww, my jamie's all grown up! torben proceeded to give jamie a hug that felt like his ribs were going to snap and his insides were going to explode out of his body. torben, fuck off. i'm older than you anyway.

the two boys, who looked almost exactly alike now except for torben's longer hair, climbed the steps in the front of the hotel, and torben opened the door for the both of them. jamie nodded his thanks as music immediately filled his ears and the grandness of the hotel almost overwelmed him. it was very nice-looking, and being done up like this made it look ever better. as soon as the two stepped inside to where the people were, jamie saw a large group of girls running towards their direciton. jamie started to back up and turn to leave that area, but a hold on his arm kept him there. girly squeals shouted above the music towards torben, and jamie looked at his cousin with a 'are-you-serious' sort of look, and shook his head. one of the girls put her arm through jamie's, and he looked down at her with the same look that he gave torben. the girl, whom he didn't recognise, put her head against his chest and then looked up at him. 'you smell funny ... kind of like weed.' jamie laughed and shook his head and spoke in a sarcastic voice. me? never. after he spoke, he shook the much-unwanted girl off of him, told torben he had to go to the bathroom, and left that whole scene.

unfortunately, the bathrooms were on the other side of the dance floor. that sucked. so, jamie made his way through the crowds of people, and some people recognized him and said 'hey, jamie!' others just ignored him and moved away, letting him get through so he could go to his destination. he pushed open the door and loud noises started to eccho, as they usually did in a bathroom. he went straight to a mirror and took off his mask, which was really starting to bother him. what the hell was the point of this? people were going to just hang out with who they usually hung out with, there was probably going to be no socialising going on here. he ran both his hands through his blacck hair and looked in the mirror at his eyes. the redness of them brought out his green a whole lot, and for a moment, jamie thought he was going to be sick. he closed his eyes and leaned against a wall for a moment, then opened his eyes and looked back into the mirror. this was going to be a long night. then, a thought hit him. if he was going to be here, he might as well make a point out of it.

he was going to go find zoe. and he was going to talk to her like a normal, civilized human being. but that was only if things went as planned. at this moment, jamie was prepared for just about anything. he was sick of this hate-game they had going on, and he wanted her to know. he knew that they both had the human capacity to tolerate each other, they just hadn't had the opportunity to say that just yet. but the time would come. the time was now. jamie looked back into the mirror and without force, a determined look spread across his face. he grabbed his mask, put it on just how torben had placed it, and opened the door to leave the bathroom. inhale, exhale.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 252o
OUTFIT // here
LYRICS // we made you - eminem
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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beep! beep! beep! bee- SMACK. with an irritated look on her face, zoe rolled over in bed with a groan to attack her alarm clock. shut up you stupid thing, she muttered in a low, aggravated voice before giving up and pulling it right out of the wall. with another groan she flopped back down onto her pillows. apparently she’d ignored the first few hundred times the alarm went off, and it was now past noon. ah well, she thought to herself before rolling over again. it wasn’t like she was going to do anything today anyway. it was a saturday. there was nowhere she needed to go. zoe never did anything on a saturday; it was a rule of thumb for her. friday night, definitely, but saturday was a stay-in day, at least until eight o’clock rolled around. then it was time for fun. thoughts of past saturdays rolled through her head as she lay in her bed in her dorm room, and zoe realized that there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep again. she hadn’t really done anything strenuous last night, so she’d definitely gotten enough sleep. with another sigh, zoe rolled over yet again for a final time, threw back her covers, and sat up on her bed, stretching. wow, was she up early. zoe had it pretty lucky that she could get up at a usual time during the week and still manage to sleep in until noon easily on the weekends before shifting back into her regular schedule again at the beginning of the week. some would say lucky, but others would say practiced. her life had been this way for years already. there was no way she would change now.

standing up with a sigh, it finally came to zoe’s attention that her roommate was gone. wow. normally she was still here at this time, sleeping until noon or later with her. what was so special about today, anyway? there was nothing she ever did early on a — wait a minute. zoe froze in place. crap. oh this was wonderful. that stupid masquerade ball was tonight! and she’d totally forgot about it! well, so much for that ten o’clock hair appointment. that opportunity was pretty much shot. oh don’t worry, zoe wasn’t turning into a preppy girly girl who cared about perfect hair and all that. oh, hell no. that would never happen. even if she did change some aspect of herself, that would never ever ever happen and she knew that for a fact. zoe was the farthest from preppy you could get, and it would always stay that way. no, she had plans for tonight. she and a friend had a prank they were going to pull off at the ball. only problem was, her friend hadn’t told her what it was. it was a secret surprise, she’d said. zoe would find out when she got there and found her. it was a little difficult to know what to do when she didn’t even know what the prank was, but zoe was up for anything, and her friend had known that when she asked her. hell yes! had been her typical response. the only flaw in the plan was having to actually go to this ball. never in her right mind would zoe have willingly gone to a dance. this was probably the only thing that could drag her here.

angry, zoe stomped over to her closet and pulled the doors open. yep, her dress was still there. well, not that it would be anywhere else, but still. you never knew. she had eight hours to get ready. so now what was she to do? she wasn’t going to get that thing on now. however, zoe had been very pleased when she found the dress in the mall. she was never the one to wear a fancy dress, but this one she could make an exception for. it was short, knee-length on her, seeing as she was so short already, and a pretty royal blue. it had been instant love. zoe had hardly glanced at the price tag before buying it. probably one of the only “girly moments” she’d ever had, zoe smiled at the memory. her mind was jerked back to the present as she heard a buzzing sound from her side table. her phone. who was calling her at this time? this was crazy. no one in his or her right mind would call zoe this early on a saturday. they should know she wouldn’t be awake! with another sigh she walked over to the table and glanced at the number. josh. well, that was…random, to say the least. the two of them were friends, though not overly close. they hung out at times but that was it. her eyebrows furrowed, zoe picked up her phone and pressed the appropriate button, holding the phone to her ear. josh? she listened as he started to talk, stuttering. with a slightly irritated sigh, she said, spit it out, kid. what do you want? well i was..just w-wondering…would..would you want to g-go to the…the, erm ball tonight? with..with me? zoe stood there, speechless, as she almost dropped her phone. snapping out of it, she brought her attention back to the kid. oh. kinda last minute, isn’t it? she said with a smirk, going back to her regular voice. but before he could say anything else, she continued, but i guess i could grace you with my presence. seeing as i’m going anyway. it was with a slightly better mood and attitude that she ended the conversation a few minutes later after working out the details. now not only was she going to the dance, but she had a date. a real date.

six hours later, there stood zoe in front of her mirror, with her blue dress and new black shoes on, holding an elegant blue mask at her side. she slowly brought it up to her face as if she was testing it. she couldn’t help but smile at the sight. she really didn’t look half bad. she might have to dress up more often. psh, she — her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. her heart beating frantically, zoe took a deep breath before walking over to answer it. why was she so nervous? this wasn’t a big deal, she told herself. it would be easy to get through. there was a smile on her face as zoe opened the door to see josh standing there, looking, well, almost as nervous as she was feeling. she smiled again as she said to him, you clean up nice, josh. he smiled awkwardly as he said in response, erm, thanks. you look…you look really pretty, zoe. a blush almost made its way to the girl’s face at that one. but comments like that brought jamie to mind, and that was a touchy subject with her. she pushed all thoughts of the kid out of her head as she left the dorm with her arm in josh’s. might as will give him a try, huh?

though slightly awkward, zoe had a genuinely fun time at supper with josh. she was really starting to consider giving him a try. or a chance, really. she didn’t play particularly hard to get, just never had too much of a real interest in most guys before. this wasn’t…well, it wasn’t new, but josh was a nice kid, and she knew — well, figured — that she could be happy with him. not to mention he wasn’t bad-looking, either, kind of cute actually, she thought as she snuck glances at him on their way to the ball. zoe could only imagine how strange this picture might look: zoe van wright, going to a ball, in a dress, with a date. and on top of that, smiling and looking like she was enjoying herself. this had never happened before, and to be honest, zoe didn’t know if it ever would again. well, maybe if she gave the kid a chance. it was a possibility, after all, even if it was a slight one. as they walked through the doors, though, and zoe immediately held up her mask, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander. was jamie here? she sighed with a satisfied smirk as she thought of the reaction he would have if he saw her here with josh. ah, who was she kidding? he wouldn’t come to one of these things. it was weird enough for her, but almost totally impossible for a kid like jamie. she’d live this night without worry of starting a fight with him. or at the very least, an awkward conversation, which was almost inevitable at this point. their last…meeting had ended rather strangely, with jamie kissing her. kissing her. and he hated her! she didn’t even know what to think. but zoe couldn’t deny the pang of regret she sometimes felt in her heart for leaving him that day. who knew what she would be doing tonight if she hadn’t run away. she could be standing here with jamie on her arm, not josh. but her feelings had been so jumbled, as they even were now. she still didn’t know what to think.

NOTES: WOO. i finally posted. [:WORDS: 1547
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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it seemed like it took forever to step out of the doorway from the bathroom. something made jamie hold back for a moment, and didn't know what it was, exactly. maybe it was that we was kind of pissed off at torben for ditiching him. well, he didn't technically ditch him. he just spoke to some girls, and jamie didn't enjoy that very much so he left. wait, that would mean that jamie ditched him. well, didn't jamie tell torben that he had to go to the bathroom? jamie couldn't even remember. and that was only mimnutes ago. normally, he would rack his brain trying to figure out if he had told him, because jamie had this need to remember pointless detail. now he couldn't remember very much, but that was fine by him. from what he could remember, though, the past few years had been the worst in his life. there may have been a few good moments in the parts that he couldn't recall, but if he couldn't remember them, they must not have been that important. he had a feeling that this night would not be very memorable if he couldn't remember something he had just said. that's why he'd just let himself go with whatever was going to happen. afterall, this wasn't going to be very eventful anyway. it was just a stupid dance. the most that was going to happen was probably some other school cracshing it, which would be fine by him. it'd make things more interesting.

but things like that don't happen. only in movies and story books. he hadn't been to any school function that had been crashed majorly, and even if he did, he couldn't remember. god, he should stop with all these drugs. maybe then he'd live a little more than having one close friend and a billion enemies or people he doesn't like. but then again, being under all the time opened up his mind in other ways it probably otherwise wouldn't. he realised that his parents didn't like each other all that much, and he predicted their splitting up. they hadn't done that yet, but he knew it was coming. and honestly, jamie had decided that he didn't care what one he stayed with, as long as it was the one that lived as far away as possible. people here were so irritating, and they didn't do anything interesting. ever. well, except what had happened last year. that was interesting, but not exactly in a good way. people thought that since he was associated with the shooter that he was happy this whole thing went down. he was actually pretty sad about it, because tyler happened to be his best friend, and they were even closer than jamie and torben. and that was close. maybe it was time to find torben again.

jamie figured that it wouldn't be that difficult, seeing as though torben was wearing a white tux and he had hair longer than some of the girls that went to this school. oh, but he was probably still with those girls. eh, jamie would brave it. worst thing that happens is that he manages to find someone or something to do. making his way through the crowd again, it wasn't that easy this time. during the few minuites that he had been in the bathroom, he supposed that people started to get either really excited or angry. he had push a girl out of the way and into her date so jamie could move. it didn't matter to him if that girl flipped out at him, because the music was too loud for him to hear anyway and she probably hated him already. that was the case with a lot o people from around here. so judgemental.

finally, jamie caught a glimpse of torben. it was a about time. he hadn't really moved much since jamie left him there. and that was preferrable because jamie didn't want to have to walk through the entire crowd just to find one person. jamie was about to say to shout out torben's name and grab his arm, but he was inturrupted by a flash of pink and when he looked down, a big white grin and huge brown eyes. he looked back up at torben, who smiled and waved, and then looked back down at the same girl that had been attached to him since he got here. he felt her hand on his, and was about to ask her what she was doing and then she held up two cigarettes in front of his face, then started pulling him out of the crowd. if he was going to get something out of this, even if it was only a free smoke, he was in. when they reached the outskirts of the crowd, she slowed so she was standing beside him. she grabbed his other arm so it was on her shoulders, and he felt his hand on her ass. he turned his head to look at her, and saw in the corner of his eyes a short black-haired girl in a rblue dress and some guy. he didn't think much of it at the time, he just wanted to know why this girl, who he didn't even know, was grabbing his ass. she just smiled and leaned her head against his arm, and he raised a brow and decided to ignore it as they passed out of the doors of the hotel.

it had cooled down considerably since the two boys had arrived here, adn that was a relief seeing as though inside was extremely warm. totally not ideal dancing conditions. the walked to the side of the building in the same way; her head 'resting on his arm (it felt like her entire weight was hanging off his arm), and his arms around her shoulders. he considered himself rather great at kissing ass for what he wanted, and he was putting that to use right now. she turned around and passed him one of the white and gold cigarettes, and he willingly took it. she took out a pink bic lighter and lit his as well as her own. jamie took one drag, and brought it out of his lips and as soon as he did so, he felt a hand on the back of his neck pulling him down towards her face, and she most obviously kissed him. that was not enjoyable for him, and he tried to get out of it as quickly as possible. as soon as he recovered to his full height, he could taste the familiar taste of vodka and cherry chapstick on his lips that was certainyl not his own. so, this girl was obviuosly wasted. this wouldnve been delightful for him if he didn't already have a goal in mind. and come to think of it, that girl in the blue dress looked awfully familiar.

jamie apologized to the girl, and said that he needed to go talk to torben. she nodded and took his arm again, and they found their way back into the building. music filled his eats=rs once more and he and the girl made his way through the crowd towards torben, and they still had their cigarettes in hand. jamie figured that wasn't really a smart idea, but he wasn't anywhere near done his yet. she was almost done, and she squealed when she saw torben, which was highly audible even through all the loud music. he didn' t actually have to talk to torben, he just didn't want to be alone with her. he really, really wanted to find zoe, but it didn't look like he'd be able to find her anytime soon if he was going to have her clinging on his arm for the entire time. being taller than most otherhuman beings had its advantage. it allowed you to find who you were loking for easily. his green eyes surveyed the dance floor and he found a glint of blue, and he narrowed his eyes to see a bit clearere. he brought the cigarette up to his mouth, and just as he was doing so realised who that was. it was zoe. somehow, he saw her turn around and make eye contact with him, and underneath his mask he made a frowny face, partly because now he knew that she was here and partly because that girl just found his arm again.

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STATUS //finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 2943857298537298459283792135
OUTFIT // here
LYRICS // we made you - eminem
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
- - - - - - - - - - - -

zoe looked around in awe at the what seemed like multitudes of students at the ritz. she’d never seen so many kids her age in one place before, not even at school! well, that much right there pretty much told you flat out how many school functions that zoe had ever gone to. duh, there were always more kids at dances and stuff than you saw in school. there were always the random kids that no one ever knew because they didn’t show up to class, ever, here. not to mention the loners, the ones that hid in hallways and all that, who showed up to this sort of thing. so why hadn’t zoe ever come to this sort of thing before? that actually sort of surprised her as she watched everyone dance and shake to the pulsing music across the room. this was, she had to admit it, kind of fun. but school and everything associated with school had never looked fun to the girl before. the word school just had ‘ick’ written all over it, all the kids knew that. well apparently they had been hiding this from zoe, it seemed. this whole masquerade ball thing was the opposite of ick. she smiled as she held onto josh’s arm, her mask held securely across her eyes. psh, as if those would do anything. carson wasn’t exactly the biggest school in the world. not to mention her hair still lay flat against her shoulders, seeing as she’d missed her appointment, and everyone at carson knew who that hairstyle belonged to: zoe carolyn van wright. so much for secrecy tonight.

zoe had seen a show or two on tv about these masquerade balls. all of the characters had been very easily identifiable, and yet none of them seemed to know who the others were. they looked so obvious, yet they were all oblivious! it was so frustrating. that was one of the reasons that zoe didn’t really watch that much tv. she was always a very easily frustrated kid, and tv was the epitome of ways for her to get annoyed. just stupid little things like that always got her. something didn’t make sense? zoe gave up on it. something out of place in a tv show? zoe stopped watching it. someone acting stupid or not getting stuff? zoe punched him. she wasn’t exactly a very nice person, to say the least. she never had been. zoe knew how hard it was for someone to change him- or herself, and so she didn’t try. she’d probably end up being a not-so-nice person for the rest of her life at this rate. well, not that that really bothered her in any way. clearly she was just fine living the way she was, right? i mean, she was at a dance, with a date, and was even enjoying herself. that much showed that she was fine the way she was. or at least, she thought that she was. but zoe had never known any other way, and frankly, she really didn’t know what she was missing. acting this way, it was nothing to her, and she had absolutely no inclination or urge to stop.

with a slight smile, zoe looked up into josh’s face. the kid towered over her, naturally. but he was tall by regular standards, not by zoe standards. zoe standards for height were a little lower, you see, tall meaning over 5’3”. josh here was maybe about 5’11.” he had nothing on — oh god. here she went again. it was amazing how easily zoe’s thoughts could shift to jamie. she’d been so embarrassed that day at the mall when they’d kissed. or really, when he’d kissed her. zoe hadn’t really had the best reaction, wiping her lips and storming away in a rage. it was a typical zoe reaction, yeah, but one that part of her, particularly the back of her mind, really regretted. as she’d sat in her dorm room fuming, she’d had plenty of time to think. part of her had thought about what it would be like if she’d kissed him back, and the ideas almost brought a smile to the girl’s face. but the other side of her brain, the more dominant side, told herself with confidence that there was no way she would ever go out with jamie. they hated each other and nothing would ever happen. the only feelings they would have between them was hatre, pure spite and hatred, never anything more. and yet…oh, god. it was all just so confusing. even though the angry side of her was more dominant, she couldn’t deny that the softer side had a point, and it really made her wonder how it would all be different now. okay, so whether she’d had time to think or not, zoe was pretty much almost as big of a jumble of emotions as she had been that day after they’d kissed. she still didn’t really know what to think.

and then it happened. looking around the room again, zoe saw him. jamie. there he was, standing there in all his jamie glory, and a cigarette in his mouth. she smirked and almost let out a laugh before stopping herself hastily in front of josh. he wouldn’t appreciate that, probably. there it was again, back to her irritation with tv shows and such. because it was clearly oh so obvious that it was jamie standing there. well, not to mention that really he was sort of an exception. the kid was freakishly tall. over six feet at least, and zoe wasn’t one for details like that. she tried her hardest to not pay overly close attention to jamie. he was in, well, almost his regular clothes, just with a, erm, twist, you could say. it wasn’t too often that zoe saw him so...well, so — she gulped — handsome. she’d never seen the kid dressed up before, obviously. how would she have? one didn’t pay attention to that sort of thing when you were verbally — and sometimes physically — attacking another. and then she saw the girl hanging on his arm, almost desperately, it looked to her. anger flared up inside her and a side of zoe that she hardly, if ever, saw, came up to the front of her mind. she smirked evilly and turned to josh. want to dance? the kid nodded rather…excitedly, she noticed, and that just made her smile all the more as she led him by the hand out to the dance floor, making particular note of how close she was to jamie. when they were close enough that he could probably hear them shouting if they needed to talk to each other, she stopped and started to dance with josh. it was almost perfect timing when the music changed, and a slow song started. this was all working out almost too perfectly. she flipped her hair back in jamie’s direction before putting her arms around josh’s neck and started to sway along with the music.

zoe was just having way too much fun. mean or not, she’d never seen this side of her before. that was probably because she’d never had to make a guy jealous before, though. she was fairly inexperienced when it came to love, as she’d said before, and so this had never been necessary. and even if she did have a relationship, normally she didn’t try to make someone else jealous, either. she would just split up with the current guy for the one she liked. well, there was no way she could do that here. it was jamie, for pete’s sake! she didn’t like him, did she? ah hell. she was pretty much screwed. it was probably obvious by this point that the soft side of her was showing up more, especially when jamie was around. wasn’t it just a bit too obvious that she’d chosen this spot to dance? it wasn’t a coincidence, anyone could tell that. there was no reason other than this for her to feel the need to go halfway across the huge dance floor just to choose a spot that was, well, rather crowded. but the girl that was hanging on him…that really shouldn’t have bothered her as much as it did. she wasn’t supposed to be feeling this way, remember? this wasn’t normal, it wasn’t natural. she couldn’t really like jamie. it wasn’t right. it was like all her careful hating of him in the past had all gone to waste now. but just looking at him, standing there, with that irritating bitch fawning on him…ugh. definitely jealousy, what she was feeling.

NOTES: so i poofed for a while, oh well. still finished this beast. WORDS: 1437
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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That was, without a doubt, Zoe van Wright. He knew of no other girl that was that short and went to a high school. Also, he could identify her easily because of her hair. It wasn’t that difficult, because it was long and black and choppyish and usually poofed. But it wasn’t today. Jamie wondered why, but then realized that he had more important things to worry about. He shouldn’t be wondering over why her hair didn’t look the same as it did on normal days. Even his hair didn’t look the same. Tonight it looked messy, which was okay because he usually had his hair messy, but only this time he had random bits of blonde in it which seemed to amplify the whole messy look. Somehow, no matter how hard the boy tried, Jamie could not take his eyes off of her. She looked … well, beautiful. He had never even took the time to imagine what she would look like in a dress like that, and the mask she had was amazing, too. Even through the crowds of people, Jamie could see that she had seen him, and he took the cigarette out of his mouth. That might be a good idea because since people could see him easily, they could easily tell a teacher or something and get him kicked out. Right now, he didn’t want to be kicked out. Not yet. Wow, every time Jamie and zoe met up with each other, one of them had to make sure not to get kicked out of something. The thought brought a small smile to jamie’s lips, and when zoe finally broke the eye contact, Jamie turned his head, too. There was another little ‘problem’ that needed his attention.

The girl that was clinging on his arm had been talking wildly to torben about something that must’ve been exciting, because she managed to hit Jamie in the neck with the side of her hand. And Jamie didn’t appreciate that too much. He glared down at the girl, who realized what she had done and stood up on her tippy toes to kiss him where she had hit him previously, and Jamie tried to stand up on his tippy toes, too, because he didn’t want her to kiss him. She was not who he wanted to lock lips with at this moment, the person who he did want, however, had disappeared from the place she had been before. This made Jamie frown and he turned back to torben, who shouted his name over the noise of the people and the music. Jamie! Who are you looking for? Jamie simply shook his head and replied Nobody, don’t worry about it. Torben smiled at Jamie and moved closer to him. really? Because I’m pretty sure I saw you staring at someone. okay, so Torben caught him obviously. But Jamie wasn’t going to give in. even though they each won their fair share of the fights they had, Jamie liked to think of himself as being better than him. He wasn’t going to give in to Torben, and his cousin knew that. So, the interrogation ensued. Torben, just fuck off. Okay? I wasn’t looking at or for anybody. still, Torben looked unconvinced. Being best friends was a cool thing, especially if you’re related, because at family reunions (if you even attended) you had someone to hang out with. However, Jamie and Torben were both known to be incredibly stubborn, and when they were being stubborn at each other, there was usually no progress made until one of them backed down or simply changed the subject. Torben moved even closer to Jamie, so his mouth was right beside his ear as if he was going to tell him a very quiet secret. However, since the music was louder than it should be in an enclosed space like this, the ‘quiet secret’ was actually a yell. I knew who you were looking at. this made Jamie look at Torben, and start to back away. He definitely did not want to be caught staring at zoe, because Torben could put two and two together very quickly. Jamie felt a pulling on his ear lobe, and he knew that Torben had stuck his finger through one of the tunnels Jamie had decided to wear. And let me tell you, getting your ear ripped regardless of if you have stretched it out hurts like a bitch. Jamie raised a hand quickly to slap torben’s hand out of the way, and glared at his cousin. you were looking at zoe, am I right or am I right?

Now Jamie knew why Torben had moved in so close to tell him this. It was obviously because of the girl that was wobbling around beside him. Jamie could tell that if she knew Jamie was looking at another girl she would get angry, even though Jamie didn’t even know who she was, where she came from, or why she was hanging off of him like this. And honestly, Jamie didn’t know why he cared so much to keep this a secret from her. Maybe it was because she looked like the kind of girl that tells-all. Because if Zoe and Jamie ended up not meeting tonight, the stupid hang-on would be all ‘Oh, I remember Jamie Bolton was eyeing up that zoe chick, let’s tell everyone!’ and that would not be acceptable. Then, everyone would know and it would be a complete disaster. Just then, Jamie seemed to remember about the cigarette in his hand and raised it to his lips. Taking a drag of it, he blew out the smoke into his cousin’s face, who in turned coughed and the started to laugh. so I’m right! Awe, cuz. That’s so adorable! You should totally go talk to her! um, excuse me Torben, but are you blind? Have you not been paying attention to the better part of jamies rants? Obviously not, because they were mostly about zoe and how she was a huge bitch. shut the fuck up, please. I would not like the entirety of America to know. Thanks. and Jamie meant this in the nicest way possible. Really.

The fast beat soon changed into a slow song, the kind Jamie dreaded most of all. Maybe it was just better to leave. Now that Torben knew, he wasn’t going to hear the end of it and he didn’t want it to start. He started to leave, completely forgetting about the girl hanging onto his hand, and then he was pulled right back around and felt the two of them being shoved together by a winking Torben. All that motion caused Jamie to drop his cigarette (which was pretty much done anyway, but whatever) and that did not add to the happiness of the occasion. He glared at him, and felt the girl try to get her arms all the way around his neck. After a failed attempt, she opted to hug him around his chest and lay her cheek against him. Jamie made a grossed-out face, and felt Torben take both of his hands and put them on her ass. Jamie could’ve yelled at him, but he was beginning to have no voice left. He quickly moved them up to her lower back, and she looked up at him with a drunken grin. Jamie tried his best to make a half-assed smile, failed miserably, and resigned to looking around the dance floor while the girl took obvious control of the slow dance. Not like it mattered to him, really. Then, he felt a poke on his chest and he looked down. my name is Rachel, by the way. You’re Jamie. I know. No need to introduce yourself. all of these words were slurred, however Jamie understood them clearly as if drunk was his third language. One of her small, skinny fingers was placed on his lips in a shushing gesture, but Jamie wasn’t going to say anything at all anyway. After a moment, she resumed to hugging him and Jamie looked at Torben with a desperate look. Torben seemed to be enjoying himself, though, dancing with three girls at once. That bastard.

He kept looking over the dance floor, and since it was a stupid slow song the lights seemed to have dimmed even more making it difficult to see. All he wanted to see was a glimpse of that blue dress, and he’d be set for life. Well, maybe not life. Perhaps the moment. And then he could close his eyes and just imagine that he was not dancing with an intoxicated sophomore, but that he was dancing with a completely sober and un-bitchy zoe. The thought brought a smile to his lips, and just as he did so, he got what he wanted. He caught a flash of blue once more, except now it was freakishly close. Well, not freakishly. But unexpected. Who was she with, anyway? He couldn’t help but look and try to figure it out. Probably some guy. Well OBVIOUSLY, JAMIE. Wait, did it look like she was trying to make him jealous? With the hair swishing and the bright smile, it seemed so. But she was a girl, and don’t girls swish their hair sometimes? And they usually smiled. Gah, Jamie was definitely going to have a headache. The pain in the back of his skull had long since disappeared and he didn’t want it to come back. He tried not to make it obvious that he was watching them, and a little frown appeared again on his face. he sighed, and as he was exhaling, he felt rachel’s hand on the back of his neck, and she started pulling him down in an obvious plea to kiss him. Oh god. Jamie definitely did not want this. A fury of thoughts ran through his mind for the 3 seconds that it took for their lips to meet once again. So, if zoe was trying to make Jamie jealous, why the hell shouldn’t he do the same? Even though Jamie had absolutely no interest in this girl, if he played his cards right he might get zoe to come over and do something about it. Zoe was a feisty girl. okay. I’m gonna do it. his finals thoughts before he actually kissed her were all he thought about for a while. Then, he started to think about how much the girl tasted like whiskey. He was pretty sure that if he kissed her for much longer, he would get drunk himself. That was not a good thought. He opened his eyes for a moment, and saw zoe dancing with the guy. He quickly closed them again and put a hand on the back of rachels head, zoe’s face running through his thoughts. He could feel torben’s eyes on his back, and he was trying to put that out of his head. These were not ideal conditions for a make-out scene. Well, not to him anyway. Rachel seemed to be more than enjoying herself, and Jamie was hoping that this would work. Please.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1853
OUTFIT // here
NOTES // haha. this was not an enjoyable post to type in front of my sister.
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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the girl couldn’t lie, this whole jealousy feeling was one that she could do without. it was exhilarating in a way, yes, and maybe you could call bits and pieces of it fun, but overall zoe had decided by now that she just didn’t want it. it was too much. it would have been so much easier to just admit her real feelings and tell jamie how she felt. well, it would be so much easier for pretty much anyone other than zoe. there was no way she was going to give in that easily. she still could hardly tell it to herself as it was! it was embarrassing, yeah. definitely was. and she still couldn’t really believe that this whole thing was real. it seemed so bizarre that she, zoe van wright, could like him, jamie bolton. she hated him! absolutely loathed him! and, well, the feelings were mutual. this never happened. you never fell in love with someone you hated. and even if you did, well, you just didn’t. it never happened. these feelings…they couldn’t be real, could they? just a fleeting crush or something, right? hell, who was she kidding? no one even had a crush on someone they hated. it didn’t work, that was clear. but…ah hell, who was she kidding? this couldn’t just be a dinky crush or even just raging hormones, whatever. this was something more, even if she wouldn’t say that. that really just goes to show exactly how stubborn zoe is. it takes a very stubborn person to not admit stuff to even his or herself.

okay, so maybe this particular bout of stubbornness had a little something to do with confusion, but not totally. she was more sure than not sure, now, at least. because it couldn’t be nothing, how she was feeling now that she’d dragged josh over by jamie. there was no way she would go to this much trouble to bother anyone else, obviously. nope, these were reserved specifically for jamie. and that there even said something for itself. maybe this wasn’t so much stubbornness as…well, fear. she couldn’t possibly like this kid! it had to be a mixture of fear and shock. okay, so maybe there was still some stubbornness in there too, but it wasn’t all that, that much was for sure, she knew now. it was a really scary thought for her, liking jamie. or even — she gulped mentally — loving. especially dating. that seemed worse than all the others. but yet there was this part of her that felt that urge, that intense, unignorable urge to just...well, try it out. yeah, it was definitely there, just hidden below the fear and shock and all the other random feelings she had now.

come to think of it, there was another thing that she really couldn’t believe or understand, and that happened to be the fact that jamie was actually at a dance. that hadn’t really came to mind when she saw him here. the only thing she’d been worried about was, well, how to get over there and make him jealous, make him notice her. but really, what the frick was he doing here? jamie seemed to have almost as much school spirit as zoe, that including school functions. this seemed to make absolutely no sense, now that she really thought about it. on a regular day — no, a regular time, a time when she wasn’t so ashamed and stubborn when thinking about jamie — she would have figured him to be the last person to come to something like this. well, not that he still wasn’t now, because he was definitely near the top of the list. it was just that quite different things came to mind now when she thought about jamie. she already thought about the kid too much as it was, and now it was just even more! oh, hell. her life really seemed to be going downhill now, didn’t it? or at least it was downhill for her. no, at least it seemed that way. her being her stubborn, scared self, just wouldn’t try anything.

it was amazing, for a stubborn person, how easily zoe’s total mind could change. like how she decided she didn’t like jamie, and then it was that she was stubborn, and now it was to how she was scared. but she was! this was just a terrifying thought. she was lost. she had no idea what to do. it was like instinct had taken over when she’d started dancing with josh in front of him. and a part of her almost felt the teensiest bit bad for doing it, but that side was taken over as she waited anxiously for his reaction. wow, she was kind of acting pathetic. this was unbelievable. and that wasn’t just because it was jamie this time. she never acted this way, ever. zoe was never the kind to be boy-crazy in any way. she really was fairly inexperienced when it came to relationships. she’d never done much more than hugs and kisses before. well, she was only a sophomore, though. by her second year of high school there were all sorts of kids getting drunk and having kids already. okay, so ignore the drinking part for the time being, because that was her. but having kids, definitely not. zoe was a virgin and, well, sort of proud of that. she didn’t want to go and lose her virginity at some stupid point in her life, and especially that early. yeah, she could be sort of a flirt. she would just back out before anything got that far.

peeking a glance or two out of the corner of her eye at jamie with her arms around josh wasn’t exactly putting zoe in the best mood. she couldn’t help but notice when he grabbed that girl’s ass, after all. (she wasn’t looking long enough to see torben, however.) her eyes narrowed, she leaned in and laid her head on josh’s chest, putting her arms around his middle now. a part of her was a little worried that josh would take this a little too far, but that was easily overpowered by her desire to get jamie’s attention. she figured he’d seen her — hell, she knew he’d seen her — but he was doing a very good job of ignoring her just as much as she was him. she continued to take sly glances and peeks for the next minute or so of the song, looking at him. oh god. oh no. oh, oh no. oh fucking hell. he did not just kiss her. what the hell was he doing? he couldn’t have. he’d just kissed her! oh this was fricking amazing. irritated and aggravated beyond control, probably madder than she’d ever been in her life, zoe practically had to strangle herself to keep from flipping out and punching the girl. yeah, violence issues. but that was her. and that was jamie sucking another girl’s face! seething with anger, she knew she had to do the same thing. she lifted her head off of josh’s chest and looked into his eyes, putting a smile on her face, though anyone who knew her well could tell that it was full of vengeance. she stood on her tippytoes, barely swaying to the music anymore, and kissed him. oh, this felt wrong. not so much disgusting, but just not right. they finally broke apart and she looked at him with a smile on her face, just asking for him to lean back in and do it again, which was exactly what he did. hah. take that, fucker. the girl could play dirty too.

NOTES:EPIC FAIL with this one. so sorry. D: WORDS: 1275
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At this moment, Jamie’s mind was working in strange and mysterious ways. A part of him was telling him to just give up about zoe and maybe try something out with Rachel. And a part of that part was telling him that there was no way he’d last very long with this girl. She just seemed so … so … weird. There was no other way to explain it. He didn’t recall Torben talking about a Rachel and he wondered if she even went to Carson. Well, she should’ve. He didn’t think that any other school or students outside of his school were allowed to come here. But then again, Jamie didn’t really know anything about this dance except for you needed a mask and you had to be dressed up real fancy-like. Except Jamie was definitely not dressed up fancy. It was probably the best he’s dressed in a long, long while, but there was no way that Jamie was actually going to wear a tuxedo. He had worn a tux once in his life, and that was at his parents’ wedding. He was the little ring bearer, and during the service he went down the aisle and offered everyone corn pops from those little single serving boxes. Most of the wedding tape is also of him telling the camera stories and blocking the view. At the dance after the wedding, he had to dance with the flower girl (he couldn’t remember what her name was) and his parents have a picture of Jamie giving the girl a kiss on the cheek. The girl was in one of those classic flower girl dresses with the crown of flowers or whatever, and she was holding a daisy. And Jamie had a little bowtie. It was a classic. It was in his parents bedroom, and he hated looking at it. It just wasn’t … him. Anyway, after the ‘first dance’ or whatever it’s called, Jamie was drinking some apple juice and spilt it all over his tux, and proceeded to strip to his little boxer briefs at the head table. Several of the guests were video-taping the wedding, and this happened to be one of the highlights. Every time one of his parents’ friends’ came over, Jamie would always be reminded of this. And he would always remind them that that would never happen again.

Neither was he planning on attending another wedding. Well, maybe with some begging an pleading he’d go to torbens if he managed to find some girl who could look past his immature antics, but other than that, absolutely not. There was no girl that he had met so far in his life that he had the desire to marry. Well, I guess that was a lie. Deep in his mind, he wanted to date and eventually marry zoe. Of course, that was a very childish want/dream, and he put it out of his mind whenever the thought arose, like right now. What was he doing, kissing some girl and thinking of another? He was being a manwhore, that’s what he was doing. Maybe he’d just grow up and be an old man or something. Or maybe after school he’d join the air force and go to war and be forgotten. Yeah, right. He’d never pass the physical. The kid couldn’t run for more than two or three blocks without coughing and puking up a lung, then eventually passing out. There was a good reason mr Bolton never attended gym class.

Eventually, of course, this kiss had to stop or she would intoxicate him. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but that was what it felt and tasted like. It was like filling your mouth full of whiskey, not spitting it out and just having it there. Which is gross. Jamie managed to break the kiss, and she smiled up at him with twinkling brown eyes. She lifted her mask slightly, which was rather extravagant, and he got a glimpse of her entire face before she put it back down so she could keep her anonymity. Yes, he had definitely seen her before. She went to this school. Rachel must’ve been in one of his classes or something. Maybe it was English. He had English with most of the juniors, and some sophomores who wanted to take AP classes. Rachel smiled back up at him once more, and then laid her head on jamie’s chest. Jamie decided that it would just be best to close his eyes and make believe everything. He imagined that he was actually walking somewhere, in the middle of a random field and for a moment, he thought he was all alone. But then he looked down, and there zoe was. In exactly the same position Rachel was. This small little thought brought a small side-smile to jamie’s face, and then he felt someone grab his arm and he seemed to snap from his little fantasy. The hand belonged to Torben, and he made a small head motion which obviously meant ‘look at zoe’. Jamie scanned the people, as he forgot where she was, and soon enough caught an unwanted sight of zoe and that guy (Jamie still hadn’t figured out who he was) kissing. Like, eating each other’s faces.

A huge wave of jealousy and anger went through jamie’s veins as he saw, and it looked like that guy was enjoying himself. Well, he should be. Because that was definitely the last time that that was ever going to happen. Rachel must’ve sensed that Jamie had changed emotions quite quickly, although it may have been because he know had two clenched fists on her back. She looked up at him with worried eyes, and was about to ask what was wrong, but Jamie couldn’t see. He was too busy gritting his teeth and narrowing his eyes so that all he could see was that guy, and how much he wished there was an actual target on his face. well, in jamie’s mind, there was. A huge target. Jamie ripped himself from rachels grasp, and immediately after that felt torbens arm across his chest. fuck off, Torben. Or I’ll punch you instead. at those words, even though Jamie couldn’t see it out of pure anger, torbens face flushed white and his eyes widened. He got the point now. Jamie went through the crowd quicker than he had at any other point, mainly because everyone was all sleepy and lovey-dovey and stuff. As if the DJ knew what was going on in jamie’s mind, the song changed to something much faster just as he got behind josh, who was still kissing zoe. Jamie waited a moment and tried to collect himself. Maybe normal conversation would be acceptable. Oh, who the fuck are you kidding, Jamie? You’re not a nice person! Punch him in the face. words do nothing. With jamie’s left hand, he grabbed josh’s shoulder in not a very nice fashion, and almost immediately drove the knuckles of his right hand into his jaw. And trust me, being punched by someone who has little to no body fat does not feel great, because there is no cushioning whatsoever. Also, he was angry. So he had adrenaline. Which equals even more strength! Isn’t that great? Not for this kid.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1218
OUTFIT // here
LYRICS // we made you - eminem
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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watching jamie and that other girl out of the corner of her eye was really starting to bring zoe almost real pain. it was killing her, watching that. yeah, she was definitely jealous, and more jealous than she’d ever seen a person be in real life and on tv. this was crazy. she wished so insanely bad that she was the one with her head on his chest, that she was the one…well, sucking her face. but just as she thought about all these appealing things, she realized how, well, wrong that it would be at the same time. no matter how appealing one side of her thought it was, the other side always patiently reminded her that it wasn’t right. zoe still couldn’t tell herself that it was okay to be in love with someone she hated. well, okay, thought she hated. everything seemed different now. right after the kiss she’d thought that she only hated jamie more, but now…this wasn’t all out of hate, that was for sure. it was almost like she was…protective. zoe, protective! and of jamie! it was amazing how quickly she could realize all of this, even with her ever-changing mind and ever-changing view of jamie and her relationship with him. she’d said that over and over again and would continue to until it ceased to amaze her. which was, well, never. god, was this confusing. it wasn’t right and yet it sounded so…so good! just to imagine that she was the one kissing him, and this time she wouldn’t run away.

because really, zoe was really beginning to regret running away more than ever. if she hadn’t, then she definitely wouldn’t have been as scared as she was now to admit how she really felt. scared and stubborn and shocked, all of those feelings that were getting to her now. she couldn’t tell him. she just couldn’t! there was no way he would let her do that. she couldn’t give in to that. zoe was a very confident person, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to just admit that she was wrong. that she shouldn’t have ran away, that she really did like him, and…maybe even l-love him. it was way too much to handle and she was so ashamed of herself. that was really how stubborn zoe was, yes, though as she’d explained it wasn’t totally stubbornness that was keeping her away from jamie now. stubbornness was just playing an extremely huge part in the whole thing, and especially now that she saw him with that other girl. god, she hated her. she didn’t even know her frickin name and she already decided that she hated her. too bad she couldn’t say that though, because it would make things too obvious. people would definitely know if she tried that. well…maybe not. zoe was pretty known for hating people. she just..well, normally had reasons. and this could be just an exception! ah hell. what was she worrying about that for? it wasn’t like she would do anything to her in the middle of a dance. besides, it wasn’t like jamie would stay with her. right?

ah, shit. what if he did stay with that chick? what if he started to date her and they ended up getting married and moving away? then what would she think? jamie would probably be happy. right? he’d be fifty years old with little baby grandkids, looking at an old high school yearbook and thinking, hah, zoe. i remember that chick. so glad i didn’t go talk to her again. and there would be zoe alone at her house, with millions of cats. that was it. she’d be the cat lady. and she didn’t even like cats! no, screw that idea. that was crazy. zoe would be able to get somewhere in life without jameson, right? it wasn’t like she absolutely needed him. okay. so it sure felt like that right now. and she already knew in her heart that she would be happier with him. but she didn’t totally need him to have a successful life. no, that much was sure. she just needed him to have a happy one.

look at that, zoe carolyn van wright saying that she needed jamie in her life to be happy. and as a romantic relationship on top of that! man, she was crazy. this was unbelievable. she’d come so far in the past few weeks — or however long it was already, she lost track — in regards to that kid. and to think, she’d come to this ball tonight to find her friend and pull off an insane prank. well, so much for that. she was pretty much distracted now. her friend probably blew her off for some other guy at a drunk party, anyway. knowing her it could definitely be possible. well, probably true. that was just the way zoe was with friends. she never really found one that she was totally happy with. she didn’t have an extreme best buddy that she could tell everything to. no, she pretty much told all that important stuff to…well, herself. that was it. she didn’t even keep a diary or whatever. come to think of it, a diary wouldn’t be the worst idea for someone like zoe. it wouldn’t be bad for her to have something that she could let all her emotions out into. yeah, it would probably be good for her. then maybe she wouldn’t feel the urge — no, the need — to let her anger out in different ways and on different things, most often people. ah, frick. who was she kidding? zoe would never use a diary. that shit was for little girls. it would never happen.

zoe suffered through another kiss with josh before breaking it for probably the last time. he was a nice guy and all, and even though she’d considered giving him a chance earlier, there was no way that was going to happen now. she’d definitely given up on him already, especially after seeing jamie at the dance. he’d just looked so…well, pretty damn good. even if he wasn’t that dressed up compared to what other people looked like. either way, for him it was sure something. zoe had never seen the kid looking so nice before, ever. well, that was bound to happen when she only saw him as least as possible. but now…man. this was so confusing. she forced a smile at josh when all of a sudden he was ripped away from her and she watched, stunned, as jamie rounded up and punched him square in the jaw. she stood there for a moment, speechless, before coming to her senses. jamie! she yelled — no, more like roared — over the music at the kid, enraged. what the hell was that?! but yet there was the part of her that felt…oddly happy. excited. thankful. she stared at the look on his face and she softened. just a bit. not more than that.

NOTES: ASDLKF the punch made me happy. (: WORDS: 1162
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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Jamie was definitely surprised at his own actions. Sure, he had been in a few fights before, but he had never gone up to someone and just punched them out without warning. Usually the fight started verbally, and then someone threw the punches and they just went along with it until someone either got knocked out or until they got broken up. And usually, he at least gave the other person a chance to fight back. But this time, it was completely different. This time, he had simply pulled him, pulled back his own arm, and then gave him a swift punch in the jaw. Well, that was really putting it in a soft light. It was definitely not a small deal, because the impact and made him fall down, dragging a few deranged couples with him. And seeing Jamie standing there fuming, not a lot of people would be like ‘hey, what the hell?’ Not a lot being the keywords. Zoe was one of those people.

When he heard his name being projected out of her lungs like she was falling over a cliff and falling to her death, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her until he was completely calmed down. He was super pissed off. Like, beyond pissed. He acted out of a jealous anger, and he was still asking himself why he had done it. Maybe it was because he felt protective of her. A bit over protective. It honestly felt like he had caught the guy kissing his girlfriend. the only problem to that feeling was that zoe wasn’t actually his girlfriend. Well, not yet anyway. Oh, Jamie. Look at zoe’s face! she’s obviously not impressed with what you did. But Jamie didn’t want to look at jamie’s face. he just needed to chill. And it wasn’t all that easy, because Jamie was mad. Irate, even. what the hell was that?! yeah, Jamie. What the hell was that?

The boy took in a deep breath. Thankfully, people started to move away or stop watching. He ran a hand through his shaggy, already messy hair and shook his head. um, I … I don’t even know. Jamie looked down at his fist, which was still tightly clenched, and he could see that the skin was tightly stretched, making his hand seem almost skeletal. For a moment, he actually felt sorry for the dude. He knew that he would not want to be punched with this. Even though Jamie didn’t really look like a threat since he had like, little to no muscle, he had an extremely manipulative mind and a short fuse. Not to mention he had a death stare. He bit his lip and shook his head. He was sick of this now.

actually, zoe, I know what that was. That was a punch. he managed to look up at her now, and she just looked so … pretty. There was no way that he could get mad at her now. Even if he was expecting her to start hitting him and swearing and cussing and making a scene, he was fine with that. He took another deep breath, still shaking from his anger and tried to calm himself down. His tone took a lighter turn, but only slightly, and he began talking. and because of that punch, that guy is now on the floor. And I would really like him to stay like that unless he gets the fuck out of here. Jamie wasn’t sure what he was going to say next. Well, he had an idea but none of it was coming into words. It was all so physical. He wanted to punch zoe in the jaw, too, just for coming here with him, but he also wanted to just grab her and kiss her again.

It could have been an exact repeat of what had happened at the mall a few weeks ago. It could’ve. the only thing he would change would obviously be that she left. He wasn’t going to pretend and lie to himself that it didn’t hurt him, because it did. Although he had prepared himself for the whole leaving and tantrum thing, something inside him just wanted her to stay and realize that she really loved him and then everything would be perfect and if Jamie died that day, he’d die a happy man. But of course, this was reality and nothing turned out in his favor. Well, a few things. But most of them were his negative thoughts that he brought upon himself and others. For example, punching that kid out worked out quite well for him. But this whole ‘explaining himself’ was not. He couldn’t take that back and right now he wasn’t sure that he would. Another thing he would’ve changed about the incident at the mall was the fighting before it. But if he were to change that, he’d have to go back to like, the beginning of time and make somewhat of a difference so that he didn’t come off as an arrogant jerk to her.

and I want all of this bullshit to stop, okay? I don’t hate you. I only pretended to hate you because you hated me, and I convinced myself that you were a bitch and for a while, that worked pretty well. Jamie shook his head again. He was just going to let himself go. and I went through fucking hell, because for the past year or so I wanted to tell you how I really actually felt, and every time I opened my mouth to tell you you’d fucking go off about something, and that would really, really piss me off. So shut your face for right now and just listen, okay? Good. oh wow, Jamie. You weren’t being subtle about this at all. Not that you could really blame him, though. He was still a bit affected from the marijuana and he was angry and pretty much spilling out his life story. I don’t hate you. At all. I never have. I can take a wild guess and say that you actually do hate me, because after the fucking mall incident you proved yourself pretty fucking well. And honestly, I was going to give up up and say ‘fuck it, I’ll just find someone else.’

Jamie turned his head and pointed in the direction of Rachel and Torben, who were now closer to him than he had thought and he slammed his pointed fist into torbens chest. ouch. Jamie didn’t hear this, of course, because he was being a dick. And honest dick, but he wasn’t going to apologize to Torben right now. He probably would later, but not now. He’d lose his whole angry front, and then everything would go downhill and he’d look like a fool. Not like he did already. I tried to find someone else, and it failed. Horribly. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t care. Because I’m sick of this shit! now he was getting worked up again. He could feel his whole body shaking and he knew that he might and probably would regret this later. He kept his finger pointed at Rachel, who was obviously clueless as to what was going on. while I was kissing her, I was trying to make you jealous. And I know that you saw me, zoe. And I thought you were actually enjoying yourself with that fuck. he pointed to the boy on the floor, who had now obviously regained consciousness and was feeling his jaw, which might’ve been a few inches to the right. yeah. I was jealous. I was doing all that stuff with Rachel because I was trying to make you jealous. I’ll admit it. I like you, zoe. Like, even more than I’ve like anyone else. Ever. And if you would’ve stayed longer in that fucking mall, you would’ve known sooner and this whole thing would never have happened. by the time he finished that whole statement, his voice was becoming extremely hoarse. Whether it be from shouting over the loud music, or just because he was so angry, he didn’t care. Not anymore. so you can pick up that guy and shower him with love and kisses and bullshit and tell him that I’m a fucking asshole. And I’ll drop this right now. I’ll just forget about you, and forget about fucking everything. Just say it and I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again. And that would make life a whole lot easier, wouldn’t it? calm down, kid. He knew that he could go back to Detroit and stay with one of his friends there and just forget about this whole thing. But that wasn’t really going to happen, right? People say that you never forget about your first love, and I guess you could say that this was truthfully jamie’s first ever … well, love. Of course he had been with girls and guys before. But they were never that important to him. He kept them with him for a week or two to fool around and stuff, but that about it. You saw the way he was with Rachel. Just using her. But Jamie knew that he would not use zoe. Ever.

Jamie took a breath in, and looked at Torben, who was pretty much his only fallback in this situation. But what was stupid about this was that Rachel hardly looked affected by this. She was still gazing up at Jamie, completely drunk out of her mind. Maybe the alcohol on her breath did get to him. Torben stood wide-eyed and completely … well, astonished. Jamie had never been so honest with anyone before, not even his own cousin. And Torben was completely right about him liking zoe, in case you haven’t caught that already. Jamie turned his gaze back to zoe, and kept a blank expression on his face. it was either that, or he would have his angry face on. And with the amount of stress and pressure this whole scene was putting on him, he actually felt like he was going to cry. Imagine that, Jamie Bolton, the tough guy, crying right in the middle of a dance like a little kid who just learned that santa claus didn’t exist. Jamie’s green eyes connected with her blues, and he made himself rip his eyes from hers to look at the ceiling. This moment of silence was almost deafening, even though the music blasted on and people kept talking and laughing.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1756
OUTFIT // here
NOTES // oh wow how am i not suurprised at this?
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

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A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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Was it normal for Zoe to feel a bit lighthearted now that Jamie was close to her? Was it normal for her to feel this way with him so near? It didn’t seem that way. Not that Zoe had that much experience with situations like this anyway. She hadn’t had much love in the past and only a real relationship or two, neither with much feeling in them. Zoe had never just felt this way before. So really, she wouldn’t have known either way if it was normal to feel like she was when the kid was close to her. Maybe it was just because it was Jamie. There were many possibilities. But one thing Zoe did know for sure, and that was that no other kid or adult in this world could say that their first love was like this. No, this one was definitely one of a kind. Not your usual first love. Only love. Oh, whatever. Everything was pretty darn confusing any way she looked at it. There were so many feelings raging up inside her when Jamie had ran up and punched her date. Yeah, just looking at that, you’d think that Zoe would be totally enraged. Really, he punched her date in the face! But it was Jamie, and that instantly made her look at the situation in a totally new light and different perspective. Everything was always looked at from a different angle by Zoe when it concerned Jamie, whether she realized it or not. The kid really had that much of an effect on her. Well, okay, first loves usually do. But this wasn’t just a typical first love. This was more, it was less, it was everything possible.

There were so many emotions running through Zoe’s head as she stood by Jamie, fuming. Her gaze shifted down to the floor to look at Josh, whom she should have felt more remorse for. She should have known something like this was coming when she brought him over by Jamie to dance. But she hadn’t been able to resist! The opportunity was just too good to pass up, and, well, whenever Zoe saw Jamie it was like she felt an unexplainable urge to go by him. Even though sometimes it was so awkward around him now. Awkward, and scary, and amazing, and wonderful, and…oh, God. She could go on forever. And to be honest, she really wished that she couldn’t. Why did Jamie have to be the one to fall in love with? Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with some other guy? Even Josh! Because Zoe knew if she’d never met Jamie, if he’d never been in her life, then kissing Josh wouldn’t have been revolting to her. He was a pretty good kisser, actually, she realized — she just wouldn’t admit that to herself. Because the only person she could picture herself kissing now was Jamie, and she hated herself for that. Only problem was, there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t just forget about him, as he was about to say soon. There was no way she would ever forget this, even if she tried. Even if it was the only thing in the world that she wanted, Zoe knew that she couldn’t do it.

A life without Jamie…it was hardly even possible to think about. Even though they still didn’t have a very good relationship, If they did, well, Zoe could only imagine just how much harder this would be. But even now — no, even weeks ago! Before they’d kissed in the mall, when Zoe still hated his guts, she still couldn’t imagine a life without him. Because the arguments they had…well, sometimes they could even be called fun, or at least they were for Zoe. She had always been a vicious girl, ready to start a brawl, and Jamie was pretty much the only guy she knew that would get into her fights. Most other guys would blow her off or either get out while they still could. It pretty much just depended on whether they knew her and her reputation or not. The guys who didn’t know her would just blow her off and leave, and the guys who did know her, well, they knew to watch out and tried to get out of there while they were still intact. For a girl, she had a killer punch. And kick. And pretty much everything else physical that you’d use in a fight. She’d been like this from a young age, and well, she’d had plenty of time and people to practice. Enough time that by now a lot of people — well, most — knew better and knew not to piss her off, not even in the slightest. Because if they did, they were pretty much done for. And if she herself couldn’t take him (which was nearly impossible, but not totally), then she knew someone who could.

And then Jamie started to talk. Wow. Oh, wow. That was pretty much all Zoe could say. She stood there almost silently as Jamie continued to rant, only stopping once to reach down and help up Josh, who just gave her a dirty look and stormed away. Ugh. Damn men. Who needed them anyway? Well, except for Jamie. But that was a touchy subject. Come to think of it, her touchy subject was having a go at her. She should probably pay attention. “What do you mean you — Jamie, of course you hate me, you retard!” Zoe was fuming now, but Jamie had gotten her started. She could only imagine what would happen next and later on during the night. “And yeah I hated you, but I couldn’t help it when you start yelling back at me! You know how I am, Jamie! And — and everything is just so confusing now and I don’t even know if I hate you or not, it’s all so — ” Wow. Zoe had never been told to shut her face like that before. She’d been told to shut up, yeah, but it’s not like she’d ever listened. Most of the time it was just stupid kids her age or teachers or whatever, too. So why would she ever have listened to that? But the tone in Jamie’s voice right now…it was totally different. She couldn’t just keep on talking with him like this. Oh, God. Look at her. Was Zoe getting soft? Nah, she knew it just had to do with everything going on. And when Jamie said that, he meant it. It would definitely be better to just listen.

That was exactly what Zoe did. And everything Jamie said…oh God. It was like a part of her knew all along that Jamie liked her — why else would he have kissed her, obviously? — but yet it felt so damn good to hear it all come out of his voice, even if he was shouting, and Zoe knew that he would have been shouting this whether there was loud music or not. Now really, what would she have done if she hadn’t come to this dance? Josh wouldn’t have been hurt and angry, obviously, but more importantly, she wouldn’t have been able to listen to Jamie saying all of this. Shocked and slightly hurt, she stood there the whole time, just letting him yell at her, something she’d never ever done before. Normally she did a great deal of the yelling between the two of them. It was…an interesting change, to say the least. One that she would never have allowed if Jamie hadn’t yelled at her to shut up that way. This was definitely a special occasion, you could say. Zoe was doubtful as to whether it would ever happen again, with her money on that it would, though wishing that it wouldn’t. Because after this shouting here, it was inevitable that something important was going to happen. With everything Jamie was admitting and everything that was running through Zoe’s head, there was no way that either of them was going to easily walk away from this. Especially with the tempers that both of them had. No, Zoe and Jamie would definitely be walking away different people. Together, perhaps? It was amazing what could happen during a school dance.

Zoe stood there, listening, with a hurt and confused look on her face. The kid was crazy. There was no way that Jamie didn’t hate her! Of course she’d always felt hateful feelings toward him, but she was never 100% and completely sure if they were totally genuine or not, and she’d only fought back totally because of the way he acted! If he didn’t hate her, wouldn’t he have just ignored her or something? Or just avoided her? No, he’d fought back, and thus definitely hated her. He was lying. He didn’t know what he was talking about. There was no way, no way, that Jamie didn’t hate her. Yes, that really bothered Zoe that much. So much that she hardly even heard the part where he said I like you, Zoe and how he was only kissing Rachel and sucking her face because he was jealous. Oh, no. Yeah, part of her knew that he had to be crushing on her or something because of how he’d kissed her in the mall, but — kissing Rachel out of jealousy, that was stupid! That was just idiotic! It was — oh wait. Hadn’t Zoe done exactly the same thing? Oh, but of course she had. It just seemed different, somehow, with her doing it, rather than Jamie. She told herself she hadn’t had any other choice, though obviously she had. It was just like in the mall. She’d felt like she had no other choice, not to mention she was so shocked and confused, not to mention partly angry, that she had stormed out of the place. When now, when she looked at it more carefully, she really had had a choice. She just hadn’t thought so at the time, but after giving herself time to think…oh, God. Jamie really was right. If only she hadn’t ran away from him that day, they wouldn’t be standing here right now, with Jamie screaming at her at the top of his lungs. Zoe noticed only now that people were starting to watch and stare, pointing on occasion, but she hardly cared. She had more important matters at hand.

With tears stinging her eyes, Jamie finished his rant, and Zoe just stood there, staring at him. She really had no clue what to say. Of course she didn’t want him to leave. It would be stupid of her to agree wit him. “That — that wouldn’t make things easier, Jamie. No way in hell would it be easier. You…I never thought I would say this,” she said with a sigh, “but you were right. I know I shouldn’t, I really really shouldn’t, but I…I think I like you too, Jamie. And it’s just not right. It’s fucking not right!” She was starting to yell again, but she was still in control of herself. “I don’t know why I do and I don’t want to but I do, and I’m fucking tired of ignoring it and I…” She stopped for a moment, taking a step or two closer to Jamie, though still not right in front of him or anything. “I don’t know what to do. But just…d-don’t leave. Stay.” She stared down at her feet, finished.

NOTES: hahaha. funny. WORDS: 1905
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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Now that he had finished talking, Jamie realized that he had been the only one speaking for the entirety of his speech. Well, most of it anyway. Zoe had actually listened to him when he told her to shut her face. That sort of surprised him, because she had hardly ever listened to him in that sort of way. Sure, she probably listened, but she never actually listened. This sort of thing just made him … surprised, and he knew that it probably wouldn’t happen again. And if it did, well, he would be completely shocked. Of course he knew who she was. They had probably spoken – well, argued – more times than your average pair of annoyances, and therefore, Jamie actually knew quite a bit about her. Like how she liked to be in control during fights. After the first two or three or four fights the two had had, Jamie learned that it was a much better idea to just let Zoe say what she wanted, and if he could fit what he wanted to say in, great. If not, Zoe could just leave with a sense of accomplishment and Jamie would just think and keep to himself.

Since Jamie had been yelling at her at the same point that she had been yelling too, he didn’t hear much of what she was saying. But now that he had finished and he could actually feel his throat burning up, his mind somehow had captured almost every word the girl had said. Of course he didn’t hate her. Jamie didn’t think that he would have the ability to lie that much about everything he had just told her, and keep a straight face. Well, it was more of an angry face, not very straight. But it was better than cracking up in the middle of telling someone that you liked them. That would be horrible. Jamie could never do that anyone, even someone he thought he had hated since the day they met.

When Zoe started speaking a few moments after Jamie had finally shut his trap, he managed to look her in the eyes for the first time in a long time. Well, if you didn’t count that one time half an hour or so ago. It was the first time where he didn’t feel such an intense amount of hate or whatever other negative feelings were between the two. And it was good. However, when he finally caught himself from making the staring seem creeperish, he looked down back at his shoes and tried to count the different colors on the floor. Anything to distract him from his current situation. Zoe had just said that him leaving wouldn’t make anything easier. Of course it would! What the hell was she talking about? All she needed to do was just find someone to take her mind off of him. Maybe that Josh kid. Maybe she’d be able to forget him in a year or two, tops. But would she miss the fights they had had? Maybe. There were a lot of maybes in this situation, but that didn’t matter. For Jamie, there would be a lot of definitelys.

He would most definitely move back to Detroit. It wouldn’t matter what his parents said at all. They would definitely realize that since they no longer had a son to impress with their fake love show that they had no reason to stay together anymore. Jamie would probably move into some apartment, buy a shitload of heroin and the like and just get high until he eventually was killed by someone or killed himself. That would be the easiest way for him to forget something. Hell, he wouldn’t even be able to remember anything. Maybe a few tidbits here and there, but what if all of those little moments featured Zoe? Simple. More heroin. More and more and more until he was just another number in drug-related deaths. Or maybe he’d just throw himself in front of a bus. Whatever would work for him at the time.

When he heard the words ‘I think I like you too, Jamie’, nothing else seemed to matter to him. He just forgot about everything else, and barely heard what she said after that. What? Really? Jamie almost mustered up enough esteem to look at her again, but he decided it would just be in his best interest to keep looking down and try think to himself. He could hear Torben trying to pull Rachel away from him, and he almost had the urge to push her away again. Even though she wasn’t touching him anymore, she just seemed like so much of a … I don’t know, burden. And now it made him look bad because he was telling some girl that he liked her and completely ignoring another. But she wouldn’t have any memory of this night anyhow. And even if she did, Jamie doubted that she was this confident sober.

So, Zoe didn’t want Jamie to go? Jamie didn’t want Jamie to go either. Jamie just wanted to stay and not think about anything, although doing both of those at the same time was clearly impossible. Jamie also didn’t want Zoe to go either. He didn’t want a repeat of the mall, and if it meant chasing after her, that’s damn well what he was going to do. He wasn’t going to let her go again. He wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. Jamie took in a deep breath and shook his head. That was a good way of refreshing his mind, although Zoe might think that the head shake meant he wasn’t going to stay. Then Jamie brought himself to look up at her eyes and he shrugged. Well, I’m not going to stay here and do nothing. So … Was this DJ wired into Jamie’s brain somehow, and knew exactly when to play the right songs? Jamie was starting to think so. Because he had ‘randomly’ chosen to play another slow song just then. If I’m going to stay here and do nothing I’m going to be pretty bored. So I think you should entertain me with a dance. Yeah, a bit of a different tone for this little episode of theirs, but hey. That was what he was going to do. And he really, really wanted to dance with her.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1o63
OUTFIT // here
NOTES // this librarian pisses me off!
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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Zoe really did feel a lot better now that she’d got everything off of her chest. It was a nice change for once, to actually say how she really felt. She felt so…proud, and relieved. Proud because she’d hardly been able to admit that all to herself, and now she’s said everything out loud! And relieved. It felt good to not have to worry about keeping that all inside now. No longer did she mentally cringe whenever Jamie came to mind. No, she didn’t even have to worry about that happening anymore. And believe me, that was a pain. Not that thinking about Jamie was always a pain, just the involuntary cringe that came with it. And all the awkward feelings and everything she felt. Like regret. Oh, yes. Regret was a huge one when it came to that kid. She’d said it so many times already, but she really wished now that she hadn’t left at the mall. If only she’d ignored the bad side of her feelings and had stayed there, just to see what would happen, even! They wouldn’t be having this huge confrontation right now. She would have gone to the dance with Jamie, maybe, and not Josh. No, Josh would be happy with another girl and not punched and hurt. And stunned. Just like Zoe. She was definitely stunned. Though part of her always knew that Jamie must have had some sort of feelings for her — why else would he have kissed her? — she hadn’t imagined him ever saying this much. Come to think of it, Zoe had never heard Jamie say so much before. Okay, so that was probably her fault. The only times she ever heard him talk was during their fights, and normally she took control of those, or at least tried to. Thus, he didn’t really have that much time where he was able to talk. But she hadn’t cared at the time.

When it came to Jamie, Zoe had really never cared until now. The worst feelings had been accompanied with seeing him somewhere, even if they didn’t interact or anything. Just seeing him made her sick to her stomach. But when she thought about it now, part of her realized that that might have been because of these new feelings. Maybe…maybe she had liked Jamie all along and just hadn’t realized it. It was very possible, after all. It wouldn’t be the first time she lied to herself, not to mention. This time it was just different, because normally she could tell and just wouldn’t tell herself. Here, either she hadn’t realized it at all or the part of her that did just wouldn’t say anything. Or think anything. Whatever made sense. Thinking in that sense, her mind wandered back to all of the fights they’d ever had. Almost all of those could have been avoided. Well, okay, maybe not. Because even if Jamie and Zoe did ever get together, or if they had before…it was almost inevitable that they would still fight. Because that was just who they were. She was Zoe, and he was Jamie. They almost had to fight. It just wouldn’t be right if they didn’t. Zoe was feisty and rude and fought all the time, everyone knew that. So of course she would argue with him. And Jamie…well, he was just Jamie. Zoe couldn’t imagine a Jamie that she didn’t argue with and especially one that didn’t argue at all. That was the only kind of Jamie she had ever known. The only one she ever knew, and really, it was hard to imagine that ever being any different. If things changed between them, as she was almost certain would happen right now…wow. It was a scary thought, really.

Zoe had always found it difficult to think of the future. It was, on its own, even a scary thing for her. It was only made even worse when she thought of a future where Jamie was involved. Not that she didn’t like him — obviously she’d shown that she liked him, after all. She’d admitted quite a lot a few moments ago. It was just a thought that worried her. Because if (when) they got together, Zoe really didn’t know what would happen. It might be rocky. How much of a chance was there that it would be normal, after all? Zoe and Jamie. It just couldn’t be a normal relationship. There was bound to be something weird. Well, weirder than just the fact that Zoe and Jamie were going out. Or whatever happened after this. What would happen after this? Well, whatever it was, Zoe was scared for it. Damn future. Why was it always so scary to her? But it always had been, ever since she was young. She never knew what was going to happen to her. With a small sigh, Zoe let her hands fall to the bottom of her dress, where her fingers wrapped around it, tugging on it slightly. This was a lot for one girl to take in on one night, let alone a few minutes. What was she going to do now? Then Jamie started to talk again, and a small smirk came to Zoe’s face. Well, after all that she’d said, she couldn’t deny anything now. There was no use trying to fight this. Well we don’t want you to be bored, she said with a shy smile, something that she never had done before, and moved closer to him.

NOTES: new word limit! WORDS: 914
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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Jamie was excited, confused, and a bit … well, self-conscious about this whole thing that was going on. Excited, because now Zoe knew pretty much everything about how he felt about her, and he was also excited because he had managed to say something for the amount of time that he had. Jamie didn’t usually speak that often about anything to anyone, except for maybe Torben. But that was understandable because Torben was obviously Jamie’s best friend and Jamie could be himself around him. Well, almost. Jamie was confused because he was still wondering to himself why he had chosen to do this whole ranting thing here and not somewhere where everyone couldn’t hear him. It would’ve been so much easier to talk to her in somewhere that was … cut off from everyone else, I suppose. But how would he even get her to go somewhere? Maybe offer a free pass for a fight. No, that wouldn’t work. He’d need to come up with something to fight about, and then she’d probably come to the place or whatever with a mind-set of fighting, and she would do nothing else. But had they not just fought? For a little bit, they had. For the first few sentences or whatever they had argued over each other’s words until Jamie told her to shut up. Would she have listened to him if they had been alone? Probably not. She might have kicked him in the groin and then continued on her shouting or punching or whatever point they were at in their argument. That made Jamie wince. That would really, really hurt. And he would not appreciate that.

Of course, anyone who had just spilled out most of what they thought about during every second of every minute of almost every day would feel self-conscious. Especially if he had said it – no, screamed it – in front of hundreds of people. Even if everyone hadn’t heard him, it still felt … well, weird. This would probably be talked about at school. And therefore he would get asked about it. What would he say? Probably nothing, knowing him. He’d be interrogated and he’d say nothing. Of course that would annoy the students but it would make Jamie feel a bit better about himself. And what would people say about Jamie and Zoe if they walked out of here … together? There would be people who didn’t believe it, that was for sure. Then there would be the people who were skeptic, who thought it was possible but doubted it. And then there were the people who would be all ‘aww, that is too cute!’ and pester him and her about it constantly. That would get annoying. But then again, those people would be off-set by their arguments. Now, everyone knows that couples argue about small stuff, like who’s paying for supper or who has prettier eyes and all that stuff. But Jamie and Zoe were known to take those kinds of things to extremes, and bring in other subjects into the fights, and that was when they were just enemies and they barely saw each other. What the hell would happen when they saw each other more often and they probably had more things to talk about? Having more things to talk about would definitely equal more fights. Maybe Jamie would just let her win, and maybe she’d just get bored of it and they’d get past that little ‘phase’ and everything would be all fine and dandy.

Yeah right.

Jamie and Zoe were two completely different people with two completely different personalities. They may not look like two different people, but they were. They were the total opposites of each other. First, one was a boy, the other was a girl. Jamie was incredibly tall, Zoe was incredibly short. Zoe had a high girly voice and Jamie had a low manly voice. Well, maybe it wasn’t very low. It was just … normal. But still, if you put aside that they’d normally be stereotypically grouped together, they’re completely different. And Jamie didn’t think that would change, no matter how much time they spent together. In fact, he thought it would be the opposite. Jamie looked around at all the people, who had decided that now was the time to just mind their own business. He could see that a few girls and some of the guys were still peeking over here with glances and out of the corners of their eyes. Oh, that was getting Jamie angry again. But determined not to lose his temper, he crossed his arms so that his fists were less noticeable. He took a deep breath in, and then let it out, just as Zoe spoke. It kind of took him back a bit, and he looked at her with a confused look on his face. He eventually recovered it back into his normal ‘whatever’ face, except added a smile that could almost match hers. Jamie then nodded his head slightly and looked behind him to see Torben, but he wasn’t there. Neither was Rachel. Maybe she passed out and Torben took her home. Hopefully. But what if Torben didn’t come back? How the hell would Jamie get home? Oh well. He could walk. He needed exercise. Not really, but hey.

When Zoe took a step towards him, his stomach seemed to flip a bit. Well, definitely not a bit. A lot. So she did want to dance with him? Cool. Now if only Jamie could move his feet, he’d be set. But he couldn’t. He looked down for a moment, then looked back up and flicked his hair out of his eyes. Jamie uncrossed his arms and managed to take a step closer to Zoe. Reached out one hand, he put it on her waist, or the farthest he could reach. It turned out to be like, the middle of her back, but regardless, he had his hand on her. And for once, he was starting to become content.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1oo2
OUTFIT // here
NOTES // this librarian STILL pisses me off! she is not invited to my birthday bash!
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !

[zoe carolyn van wright]

just talk yourself up

[/size]
A N D T E A R Y O U R S E L F D O W N
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After admitting so much, it really felt to Zoe already that she was now a different person. It was like she had changed so much after making the short speech that she had just a moment ago. She felt so different. It was a nice change, she had to admit to herself, being honest like that for once. If she hadn’t said everything, well, first off Jamie would probably feel kind of embarrassed. After all, he’d just admitted his own true feelings. That alone would probably make part of her feel really horrible, even if she wouldn’t say that. Heck, until now with this sudden change, Zoe would never have even said that to herself. Who knew what was going to happen now? And this time I don’t even mean about Zoe and Jamie’s relationship. No, this time we’re talking about Zoe’s personality. Would she be a more honest person after experiencing just this one change? Would she — gasp — not fight as much? Psh. That part was a given. Of course she wouldn’t! It was Zoe, and fighting was an integral part of her. She couldn’t even call herself Zoe Carolyn Van Wright if she didn’t fight or argue with people. It just wouldn’t be her, and she knew that. But the honest part, hmm. That, Zoe could see herself giving a try. You never knew, after all. It could be a change for the better, and there was no way she was ever going to find out if she didn’t try. So who knew? Maybe she would. Maybe...

There were a lot of maybe’s in Zoe’s life right now. Maybe she’d never hated Jamie, maybe they would go out, maybe blah blah blah. Things weren’t very certain with this girl at the moment, that much was for sure. Everything was pretty damn confusing, she had to say. She never knew her entire true feelings, about anything. Well, except about the small piece of the Jamie puzzle that told her that she did indeed like him. That part, at least, she knew was right. But the rest of the Jamie puzzle…that was another story. It seemed like she’d bought that puzzle damaged, missing a few pieces to start with, and then she’d lost more along the way and now it could never be completed. Not to mention, it was like with the pieces that she did have, so many of them looked the same. Like it was just a huge puzzle of the sky, with tons and tons of blue pieces. It was sure a 10,000 piece one, after all, and the only part she had figured out was the outside. That was always the first part anyone did to a puzzle, after all. And especially on hard ones, like this life puzzle Zoe was going through right now. She’d spent so much time already as it was just trying to piece together what she had, and now a dog had ran through and trampled what she had, only leaving one side of her already put-together outside of the puzzle. And that one side that was still together, that was the part of Zoe that told her she did like Jamie. That was all she knew right now.

It was comforting, really, that Zoe could at least have faith in one part of her life. There was one place where she could always be sure that wasn’t going to change. Even if it was one very small part, like the top line of a gimongous puzzle, it was better than nothing. At least she had just one small thing that she could rely on. She knew her feelings about Jamie, the ones she had figured out anyway, were never going to change. No, she knew just by looking at the kid that they were in it for life. This wasn’t going to change at all, not at any level of variety. Nope, no way, not no how. It seemed so amazing that just a while ago, practically a few moments, Zoe hadn’t been so sure about her now reliable side of the puzzle. Now it was like she knew for a fact that these feelings wouldn’t change or go anywhere. For as stubborn as she normally was, her mind had sure changed pretty quickly, that much was for sure. Slowly, Zoe took in a deep breath as she now stood so close to Jamie she could probably feel his breath if she stood still long enough. She figured that by the time they got to this moment, like they were now, she would be petrified, frozen to the floor. But no, Zoe was experiencing the exact opposite. She was still scared — what would the rest of the school think, after all? Think of the rumors that would fly — obviously, but she couldn’t stop moving, even if it was just the slightest tap of her foot or twitch of her cheek. Nervousness had never affected Zoe in this way before.

When Jamie reached out a hand slowly to grab her waist, it was like her stomach was doing flips. Was Jamie feeling the same way right now, she wondered? He sure didn’t look like he was one hundred percent comfortable, after all, so there was a good chance that he was a little, if not more, nervous. Maybe he was even more nervous than her! Okay, so they were probably both insanely nervous. Whatever. At least a little of the tension was skimmed off the top of the pile for Zoe as Jamie tried to put his hands around her waist, for he ended up somewhere around her back. Damn, she was short. Why did it have to be this way? Normally Zoe hadn’t minded her height, preferring to look more on the bright sides and the advantages of being this tall. But this, she wasn’t too pleased about. She smiled, and she could tell it was genuine. Slowly, very gently, Zoe reached out her arms to put them around Jamie’s neck, laughing a little again when she ended up with her hands on his chest, for she couldn’t reach. How awkward they must look.

NOTES: hahaha! i bet that’ll make her feel bad. WORDS: 1024
TAGGED: the sexy jamie OUTFIT: mask dress shoes
CREDIT: made by HEY BAYBAY !? at caution. [/center]

[jameson robert bolton]

WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ADORE, WHO THEY CAME TO SEE

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It wasn’t that Jamie was nervous, no. well, he was. But he was just being so … slow, as we’ll say, because he was a bit shocked by what had happened. He didn’t think prior to this night anything would be happening between Zoe and Jamie at all, because, well, how could it? But now he could see that maybe something might work. Sure, he was nervous, but that was supposed to be a natural thing, something that everyone feels once in a while. Since Jamie didn’t do a whole lot, he never really had a lot of nervousness in his system. Sure, he had the few adrenaline jolts when he came home from school and his mother was in his room, because she could easily find his drugs just by opening a drawer beside his bed. Then he’d be in a shitload of trouble. Like, more than he’s ever been in before. He’d probably be sent away and never come back here and go to rehab and blah blah blah … oh well. That really wasn’t something to think about right now. Right now was supposed to be a happy time, and that was actually what it was turning out to be for the boy. A very, very good time. He didn’t think that letting all of that out would make him feel better, but instead put more pressure on him because everyone knew.

Another thing that was making him nervous was that kid that had left. Obviously, Jamie didn’t give him a friendly little tap on the cheek, it was a hard punch. And he would probably go to the hospital at some point, and since his mom was a nurse at said hospital, things could go … well, not in his favour. Kris would probably find out that Jamie hit him and ask questions and eventually make Jamie apologize. But Jamie wasn’t one to apologize, ever. Sometimes, if he really felt bad about something, he’d say a quick ‘sorry’ or just give the person a sympathetic look. The only time he would actually apologize and give the whole thing a different outlook was if it was someone he actually felt that he needed to apologize to. He didn’t think that if you weren’t sorry you should apologize. That’s just giving the other person a false sense of hope. Don’t ask me what kind of hope, because I don’t know.

Jamie felt Zoe put her hands on his chest, and knew that she was actually trying to put her hands around his neck. At this point, Jamie was really wishing that he was shorter. Maybe even just an inch or two. Or maybe if he was normal like everyone else and was in the five foot to six foot range then he’d be happy. Who was he kidding? He was happy right now. Maybe being shorter would just be … an improvement. That’s it. Then Zoe and Jamie wouldn’t have this gigantic height difference. At least she wasn’t taller than he was. He thought that would be really weird, dating a girl that was taller than you. Not that he had anything against it, but it would be kind of difficult to find a girl who was around eighteen and over 6’6”. The seventeen-year-old grinned when she attempted to reach all the way up but failed. He looked down at her and shook his head a bit, not in a mean way, but just in a sort of … apologetic way. For being such a freak. Jamie put his other hand on her waist – or rather, middleish back – and couldn’t help but smile again. This was just …great. There was no other way to put it.

Everything about this was great. For starters, Jamie had gone from being the angriest he’s been in a while to feeling on top of the world. That didn’t happen very often. Sure, he had his mood swings like every other teenage boy, but he usually didn’t swing back up. It was like a freefall, with him. He’d feel really really great, and then he’d go down at speeds topping fifty kilometres an hour! Kidding, haha. But his mood swings had the tendency to go to the extremes, and most of the extremities were very low. Aw. the second thing that was absolutely great about this, was that he was so close to zoe that something just made him light up. it made his mood a hell of a lot better. A couple months ago, if you told Jamie to look at a picture, and there was a picture of Jamie and zoe exactly like this, he’d probably either laugh it off or give you one of those blank, Jamie expressions that he gave pretty much anyone.

Jamie lowered his head a bit, just to be a little more …relaxed and not so tense. Of course, he was never going to be completely relaxed about this situation because in the back of his mind he was going over scenarios in which the pair would dance and then zoe would step on his foot and bite him and start hitting him as soon as he let down his guard. However, something told him that it wasn’t. Something told him to just calm down, take a chill pill or two and just relax. It was probably her perfume, and Jamie couldn’t exactly put a name on it. He searched his brain for what it was, and then realised that it was lilac. Something that he definitely had not smelled in a while. He knew that it was supposed to be calming, but he had no idea it was this effective. Even though it was probably just because the boy was tired and had a lot on his usually one-track mind and just overall exhausted, he thought it was helping him just .. mellow. He could get used to this. Usually, when Jamie thought about Zoe he became tense and started being an asshole to everyone. He had ‘trained’ himself to act so defensive around her, or even when the conversation turned to her. Often he would try to change the subject and that had worked a few times. And now when he thought of her, maybe he could be relaxed and smell lilacs. Awe, how romantic.

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STATUS // finished
TAGS // beth with zoe!
WORDS // 1o51
OUTFIT // here
NOTES // that should piss her off! because she will never get an invitation. she'll have to hang out with hooper humperdink.
CREDIT // this superfantastical template was made by ZOESTOLEYOURCAT of caution !