|
|
Post by zoe carolyn van wright on Aug 29, 2009 21:45:35 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -   DON'T PATRONIZE, I REALIZEi'm losing and this is my real life *zoe really didn’t want to be here. she really really did not want to be here at all. it had taken her a while to realize that she was actually in a hospital, but now that she had, it was really starting to take a toll on her. she’d felt woozy for just a moment or two a couple times, and though it was hardly even noticeable to anyone else there (ignoring the fact that the [at least for now] permanent occupant of the room was slightly delusional and had been seeing rabbits everywhere not too long ago), every so often her eyes would nervously dart to the door leading into the hallway, seeing as there was, depressingly, no window in the room. that was strange. normally when someone was in the intensive care unit, he or she was, well — zoe gulped at the thought — dying, so wouldn’t you think the patient would want to be able to see outside for possibly even the last time? and yet this room had no window. well, maybe it was just jamie’s room, but that seemed unlikely. hospital rooms, at least in each ward, always looked the same. they were boring and bland, just like hotel rooms were. so if jamie’s room here in the icu didn’t have a window, then the other rooms almost certainly didn’t have any either. really, even if she’d just said that, it didn’t make sense to zoe. she knew that if she had been the unfortunate one to be dying in a hospital (never, she vowed), she’d want to at least be able to see outside if she couldn’t be there. okay, so zoe had never really been a person who was big into the outdoors, but it would still be nice to see the sun or even the moon, depending on the time of day, for the last time before she died. otherwise she probably wouldn’t even be able to remember the last time she’d have seen it (meaning one or the other). and that would be just, well, depressing.
really, just standing here in jamie’s room made zoe want to get out of this hospital, this hell-hole. she had something against the places, that much was for sure. it was more of an irrational fear, actually. zoe hadn’t landed herself in the hospital too often, hardly at all, actually, if she even had one time. she had no bad experiences with doctors. really, she had nothing to fear. the places just … creeped her out more than almost anything else in the world could. well, except for someone close to her dying, but that didn’t count for a fear like this. zoe knew right now, though, that the only reason that she was in this hospital was jamie. there was nothing else that was holding her here right now. if it had even been one of her own parents, the two people she loved with all of her heart, it would have still been different. she would have seen that mom or dad was okay, spent some time talking, and then hightailed it out of there, maybe visiting a few times later or whatever. she and jamie were really, well, getting serious now. or maybe she just cared for him that much. well, whatever it was, it was more than just a regular high school relationship. even if in high school you met someone and were sure that he or she was the one, it sure as hell took longer dating than it had for jamie and zoe. well, okay, they had a little more time if you included the time when they hated each other’s guts. but their fighting hadn’t exactly given zoe any time to think. she wouldn’t sit down and think randomly, hmm, do i love jamie? no, that would be weird. she’d hated him and that was what she worried about.
being in this hospital was freaking her out. she stood on her feet near jamie’s bed still, also still wishing that she could be resting in his arms right now. she just felt so comfortable there. it was like they fit together effortlessly. he was definitely a lot taller than she was, but that seemed to work for them. they looked and felt right together, even if no one would be able to tell the latter. no, that was just one thing that the two of them, luckily, shared. zoe was so lucky to have the kid. she was lucky he hadn’t given up on her after the mall scene. yes, zoe definitely had a lot of things to be thankful for, even if most of them did revolve around jamie. but he was her life now. yes, they’d only been dating for a few weeks now, but there was no denying that what they had wasn’t normal. there was something more, and it was a big something more. she never would have guessed before that this would have happened with jamie, whom she hated with all of her entire being, but it did. there was no changing the way they both felt now. “no,” zoe said simply, moving closer to jamie’s bed again until she was next to him. “it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. i’m sorry, you’re sorry, the whole world’s sorry. but this happened, and we … we can’t change it. i’m not going to get mad about this anymore. okay?” zoe had been about to say she wouldn’t get mad anymore but had caught herself just moments before she’d said it. that statement could be taken two ways, after all. and zoe for sure wasn’t going to never fight again. it would be stupid and pointless for her to say that because it would never happen. but really, being in the hospital for so long was starting to mess with her. ahh, the wonder of irrational fears. zoe put her hands on the metal railings by jamie’s bed, staring at the tiny space next to him. man, she wanted to lay down. taking a deep breath, she embarked on beginning a, in her opinion, extremely stupid question. “jamie …” she said in a quiet voice, swallowing and chuckling just a little bit. “that bench over there isn’t very comfortable. d’you … could i sleep by you? i’m sure we’re both tired.” zoe was so intent on getting this that she hadn’t even thought about how hurt jamie could be moving over for her. she just knew that he would do it. |
|
|
|
Post by jameson robert bolton on Aug 30, 2009 1:02:01 GMT -6
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED BUT DON'T LEAVE THIS PLACEJUST TURN AROUND AND LET ME SEE YOUR FACE[/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center]
jamie didn't want to be here at all. he knew why he was here, but didn't know how long he would be laying in this bed being bored out of his mind while a nurse changed his iv every few hours. this wasn't how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. but he'd only be in here for a while, not his entire life. unless he just randomly died of something. you never know, because his stomach could randomly just start bleeding uncontrollably and then he'd just ... die. no, that's wouldn't happen. it couldn't. right now, jamie had so much to live for. then why was he constantly doing things that could take his last breath out of him quicker than he could say stop? because he was a stupid teenager, for one. jamie had absolutely no idea how much this was going to affect his future. did he care? no. he cared about what was happening right now, not five or ten years from now. that kind of thing was just stupid to him, and he always told himself that whatever happens happens. he had no control over it. he couldn't control his future. could he? of course not. it was all fate. and not the mushy 'oh, they're meant to be' sort of fate. (although that's often what he thought of when he thought of zoe. there was no explanation for it because prior to them dating they wanted to rip each other's throats out.) fate ruled everything and just because you make those choices, it doesn't mean you're changing what could've happened. that's avoidance.
zoe spoke, and jamie couldn't have feel more relieved. one thing that he liked - no, loved - about zoe was that she was passive about things. not always this that one should be passive about, but still. usually, if a girl found out her boyfriend OD'd on heroin, she'd be freaking out and yelling and wouldn't stop. zoe had done that, minus the not stopping part. she had stopped. and that was a good thing. although zoe didn't let some things go by her, the stuff that did that involved jamie made him one hundred times happier because he hated being yelled at by her, and usually yelled back. and then a fight would ensue. not always physical, but verbal. and loud ones. because you would have jamie's low voice, and then zoe's high squeaky voice. it'd be like a mouse and a dog arguing, except the mouse being a thousand times louder and more frightening. jamie watched as zoe put her hands on the rails on the side of his bed. he actually managed to move his head a bit, but not by much. he still got a huge sharp thing of pain when he moved it more than an inch. he figured out that it went away quicker if he held his breath. that was simple enough to do, right? right.
jamie heard zoe start to speak again, and looked up at her. she had just said his name, so he looked at her with an expecting look. what is she up to this time? when she said that the bench was uncomfortable, a small grin started creeping up on jamie's face. he could take a wild guess as to what she was going to ask, and he'd probably be right. ah, and he was. without a second though, jamie said "yeah, of course." and went to move over, momentarily forgetting that he was in a hospital bed for a reason. his stomach felt the stabbing again, and his head felt almost the same thing. but he held his breath and lifted himself up with his right arm and moving himself over a few inches, hoping that the staples in his stomach wouldn't rip. what would happen then? well, he'd start bleeding again. then the doctors would come in and be all questioning and be like 'why did you try sitting up, blah blah blah' and then zoe would probably get in trouble and jamie didn't want that to happen at all. he tried to make it seem like it didn't hurt, but it did. by the time his arm was almost squished against the other rail he felt like he was going to pass out from the amount of pain he had going through all of his body. but he managed to keep himself awake and semi-healthy and took a deep breath in, trying to calm his body down. his heart was racing from trying to keep the bloodflow in his brain in tip-top shape, and it was working. he could feel a headrush, and that was better than being able to feel nothing at all. he had even managed to move his left arm over so zoe could have even more room. jamie looked up at zoe and smiled, basically saying that she could get on the bed now. this would help him sleep a hell of a lot easier than listening to melodramatic beep ... beep ... beep all night.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - STATUS:
NOTES: that's totally okay! because action happens in third paragraphs. maybe i should start sucking less.
TAGGED: zamie ftw <3
WORDS: 844. ah, pooey.
OUTFIT: here!
LYRICS: metro station - wish we were older
CREDIT: RETRO GLAMOUR ! @ CAUTION 2.0
|
|
|
|
Post by zoe carolyn van wright on Aug 30, 2009 19:41:08 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - DON'T PATRONIZE, I REALIZEi'm losing and this is my real life * if you went into zoe’s past, you wouldn’t find yourself in too many relationships. it was just, well, something she’d really never had a huge interest in. zoe was pretty, of course. almost any guy would admit that. but having guys flirt with her randomly seemed to have been enough. so zoe didn’t have too much experience with real relationships. well, that is, until jamie came around. but before that, no, almost nothing. the closest before him she’d ever gotten to a real boyfriend was … well, probably josh, and that was just a cute friend whom she’d, er, sort of used to get jamie jealous at the ball. but she had agreed to go to the ball with him without even thinking about jamie. okay, so she was technically still thinking about jamie, but she had told him yes, she would go to the ball with him, without the full intention of using him just to get to jamie. she had always thought the kid was sort of cute, after all. and he still was. she just didn’t have eyes for him any more, at all. well, she’d never really had total eyes for him before either, even when she’d been going to the ball with him. cute or not, it was hardly what you could even call a crush. they would ever only be friends. well, who knew how they were now. zoe hadn’t talked to josh at all after jamie punched him in the jaw at the ball, and he probably didn’t want to talk to her, either. if she was josh, she would have been mad at her, too. after he’d punched the poor kid, zoe had hardly paid any attention to him at all. zoe couldn’t even remember if she’d helped josh up. after that he just left to the bathroom or even out of the ball, she didn’t know. zoe had seen him a couple times at school but he hadn’t made any effort to talk to her or even acknowledge her presence, so zoe had replied with the same.
and before the whole josh experience, there was really nothing. but really, when you think about it, that shouldn’t be too huge of a surprise. zoe is only sixteen, after all. by sixteen people aren’t always going out with every boy or girl possible or making out or even dating at all, really. zoe knew a number of people, actually, who hadn’t dated anyone at all by age sixteen. they hadn’t even kissed anyone before. and the thing was, those people were totally happy. they didn’t feel the need to go and date everyone in high school and then get knocked up and have a kid before graduating. they were happy where they were, focusing on schooling and getting into a good college and everything. okay, that there sounds sort of like a stereotype, but it wasn’t at all. no, these people were just, well … smart. but even that isn’t saying that people who do date in high school aren’t smart. they can be very intelligent, actually. zoe knew people who were like that as well. it just went to show that, well, stereotypes weren’t right at all. hardly any of them were accurate. just because someone wore preppy clothes didn’t mean that he or she was a stuck-up jerk that thought he or she was better than everyone else. okay, so that one was often accurate. but that’s not the point. zoe had been trying to explain how stereotypes were stupid and inaccurate. it just seemed that she’d chosen the wrong, er, clique to use as an example. but zoe didn’t like saying cliques either. it seemed so … deciding. like you were grouped into one clique and you were stuck with those other kids in your ‘clique’ for the remainder of your high school years. and zoe didn’t like being forced into things like that. especially if she had no say in it.
the fact that it would probably hurt jamie to move over for her hadn’t even come to mind when she’d sort of hint-asked to lay down by him. no, she hadn’t thought of that at all until he’d moved over all the way to the opposite side of his bed. it was, well, a lot of room for anyone, but especially for a person like zoe. she was rather small, after all. she wasn’t even ashamed of that. her size, meaning height, mostly, had its many perks and positive points, so she didn’t even bother to complain about being short. she liked it. it was nice to be able to do some things that other people couldn’t do, like … well … hum. she’d think about that later. even though jamie was the one in the bed and she’d stay in the hospital however long he wanted her to be here, she couldn’t believe she was going to sleep in a hospital bed. yeah, she was tired, but she’d been stretching the truth about that little bench/chair thing over by the wall. it really wasn’t that uncomfortable. but really, hospital room or not, sleeping next to jamie was so much more appealing no matter where they were. she looked at his face after he’d moved over so much with a shy smile. he didn’t look like he was in pain, but zoe knew that he was hiding how much it had hurt him. the poor kid was probably screaming inside. but if he wasn’t going to complain about it or let it show, well, zoe wasn’t going to bring any attention to it. that would probably make it worse, or at least make it seem like it was. it wouldn’t actually make it worse for real. but whatever. enough rambling about how much jamie was hurting right now. he’d moved over, and that showed that he really truly cared a lot about her. a slight smile on her face at the gesture, she climbed — or more like clambered, actually — over the railing of the bed and situated herself next to jamie, turning on her side and snuggling gently into his chest. she may have been lying about the bench being so uncomfortable, but either way this was definitely better, she thought to herself as she slowly closed her eyes … |
|
|
|
Post by jameson robert bolton on Aug 31, 2009 16:16:04 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED BUT DON'T LEAVE THIS PLACEJUST TURN AROUND AND LET ME SEE YOUR FACE [/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center]
what was school life going to be like after this? harder, no doubt. more people would probably stare at him, that was a definate. more people would talk behind his back, and he'd probably hear a lot more speculation about his drug habits. of course, before this whole incident, most people were just suspicious or went along with other people's accusations and decided that he was a drug addict without proof. but now they had it, and the next few months would be horrible. would people start talking to him about it? no, probably not. teachers would keep an extra close eye on him, though. Perhaps some of the do-gooders of the school would flash him a quick smile or something. But would that mean that they’d just suspect him of just being like ‘eehhh.’ and giving them a glare? Maybe. Then they’d ‘report’ or whatever the fuck they do to the teachers and he’d be called to the office and they’d have this big talk and be all ‘rehab for you!’ and then hell would ensue. Jamie supposed that a lot of things were going to change. He was definately not going to have a whole lot of privacy from his mom, or from torben’s parents either. Hell, torben would probably be in on this whole thing and yell at him too. Jamie didn’t want any of that to happen, but he supposed that he brought it upon himself. Come to think of it, jamie had really brought a lot of things upon himself. Of course, not all of them were negative. Take zoe for example. Okay, okay. Maybe she was a little bit of a negative aspect, only because having her around more often meant that there was more fighting, as compared to when they didn’t see each other at all and exploded at each other.
But now, since they had been together more frequently, jamie found that their arguements and fights lasted a shorter time than they had when they saw each other once or twice a week. Maybe it was that since they had so much things to talk about (nothing, really) they just put off fighting for doing other things. When they had only caught one, horrifying glimpse of each other, it was like a bomb just waiting to explode. They hadn’t really had a lot to fight about then, but they sure as hell found something. Maybe it was an untied shoelace, or how ridiculous that shirt looked. The obvious absence of jamie at school also seemed to make them see each other less often back then, but now jamie was attending more regularly to spend more time with zoe, even if they did get some strange looks. Okay, they got a lot of strange looks. The whole school was probably used to their booming voices being echoed throughout the hallway, and now the hallways seemed to be a bit quieter. Now, they generally just spoke quietly to each other or just sent a shy smile to each other. A small smile crept up on jamie as he thought of the idea of the school actually missing their fights. They must’ve been entertaining at some aspect. Afterall, their heights were rather humorous, and the fact that they sort of looked like friends made it that much more funny. Hell, they looked like they could even be bickering siblings. They both had freakish light-colored eyes and black hair, so why not? Well, jamie had colored his hair, and he wasn’t sure if zoe had or not. He used to be a dark blonde, but not anymore. If he just let his hair grow out, it turned into an icky mousy brown, and nobody wanted that color of hair.
Jamie chuckled softly at zoe climbing over the railings of the hospital bed. He hated those, and it sure looked hard to get over them. They would probably be most uncomfortable to lean against, but who cares? He was with zoe. She’d make everything better, wouldn’t she? Of course she would. In jamie’s silly, silly childish mind, people can make anything go away, and she’d make the railing digging into his arm disappear in a flash. Or, jameson, you could just move it. Ah, that was true. Jamie managed to free his arm from being squished between his ribcage and the rail to rest on his stomach. He didn’t just let his wrist fall down, though, because that would be stupid. He had to treat himself with care now, or at least until he got out of here. That meant no jumping off of stairwells and onto unsuspecting people, and no more seeing who could punch the other in the stomach hardest with torben. That hurt a lot without staples, thank you very much. The two boys were pretty equal in strength, plus they both had bony knuckles. And you’ve already guessed that being punched by those suckers hurts a lot. So imagine getting punched by two kids with exactly the same force. Ouch. Yeah, torben and jamie got really bored sometimes and came up with punching games. You played mr potatohead, they played ‘let’s shoot each other with pellet guns’. They’re just hardcore like that, ya’know? When zoe finally got herself up and into the bed (which looked like serious work) jamie lifted the thin blanket that was covering him and put it over her as well. Then he realised that they were both going to be sleeping in skinny jeans. How uncomfortable. Oh well. He’d survive. Or rather, they would. Jamie took in a deep breath, allowing his body to relax a little bit. His head rested back into the half of the pillow he had left for himself, and it seemed to be hurting a lot less. He couldn’t feel his pulse in the back of his brain, so that had to be good, right? He looked down at zoe, who had snuggled herself up on his side. He ran his hand through her hair once, then put his hand on hers. ”g’night, zo.” and with that, he shut his eyes and listened to the ‘beep beep beep’ and people walking quietly in the hallway, and the sound of zoe’s breathing. This couldn’t get any better.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - STATUS:
NOTES: d'aww. these two are just the cutest kids i've ever not met in my entire life.
TAGGED: zamie ftw <3
WORDS: 1045
OUTFIT: here!
LYRICS: metro station - wish we were older
CREDIT: RETRO GLAMOUR ! @ CAUTION 2.0
|
|
